MSR Programming Guide 5/12

boobs1Not to bring y’all down but did you know that one year ago today 70,000 people died in China’s Sichuan province? SEVENTY THOUSAND. Oh wait… another kid has a sniffly nose in Osh Kosh, send the news chopper!

Anyway, Tootie turns 40 today so put on your rollerskates and show off those massive cans you grew over the summer (as did Blair’s ass, Natalie’s belly and Joe’s penis), sit back and enjoy tonight’s television offerings.

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MSR Programming Guide for 5/10

mama2Happy Mother’s Day! We at MSR hope you all get the relaxing day you all deserve. All of you except you… You know who you are. I can’t believe you did that thing with that thing that time. Your kid is going to become a cannibal.

While my wife (and mother of my child) sleeps off those margaritas we had last night, I’ll prepare you for your day of television, in between the crappy cards your kids made you, the flowers your husbands almost forgot to buy, the dinner you wished you cooked yourself and the brazilian wax gift certificate you’re thinking of re-gifting on June 21st.

Sit back and enjoy YOUR channels! They can be so empowering!

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MSR Programming Guide for 5/9

mq7jDesperate for content, EdHill has issued me a Prime Directive to produce some content. He says if I want to Live Long and Prosper, I better come up with something at warp speed. That’s the trouble with Tribbles like him… He thinks we’re all the Borg or something. Sheesh.

Whatever, Here are MSR’s suggestions for your TV pleasure on Saturday, all times Romulan.

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