This weeks ANTM was rather tame, which is probably expected after make over drama in week 2, and Louise’s meltdown in week 3. Excuse me, I mean Chameeleoné’s meltdown the week before. This week the girls wore bad hats and got advice from a “brand futurist” which is not, and never will be, an occupation. Still, there were fights and crying and threats to leave! Plus, there’s Nigel looking sexy in a t-shirt. Shall we?
Coming into this episode, I was all excited about spending some time with my old pal Cat Deeley. Would there be a dancing challenge? A hosting challenge? Sadly, Cat was not involved in the challenge at all, which is too bad because the girls could have really used the expertise she cultivated in dealing with the So You Think You Can Dance judges all these years in this week’s “How to get along with overbearing personalities while still acting like adult” challenge. And by “girls” I mean “Louise.” And by “Louise” I mean “Chameeloné.” Confused? This recap will probably do nothing to clear things up.
Ready for another super timely ANTM recap? What if I promised you there would be Kardashians? No, wait, don’t go! What I meant to say is that there would be makeovers! Yay! … and Kardashians. Sorry, just like death and taxes, there ‘s no way to avoid them. But seriously, makeovers, this time with patriotic hair dye and more bangs than a porn convention. Plus, haggis!
Well here we are again, Tyra. It’s been a while, hasn’t it? I think the last we were together like this was the circus dwarf cycle. And then … we drifted apart, somehow. Was it that the increasingly gimmicky themes seemed to be your confession that the show has nothing to do with actual modeling? Or that your more insane tendencies seem to have been reined in over the last few cycles? Ha, ha kidding about that last thing. No one tames crazy like yours, Tyra. It runs wild and free like a beautiful, unmedicated mustang. But let’s not argue about the past, Tyra. Let’s do this thing.
Yes it’s true, we’ve come to the end of another summer and another season of Big Brother. Now the bears will shamble off to hibernate (they’re rooting for Adam), geese will fly south for the winter (they like Rachel’s laugh), and Canadians will make their annual migration to Florida (they like how Porsche brings them drinks).
But first! We’ll have one last summer fling. Wednesday, 9/14, at 9:30 Eastern, 6:30 Pacific.
Is anyone else still slightly freaked out by Jordan’s ability to guess “David Hasselhoff” from soap bars and opera glasses? I have come up with a couple theories.
- Jordan is an evil genius, and secretly controls the weather, banking, and the internet. Jeff is actually an animatronic mantoy she created in her lab. He’s still in beta, hence the homophobia bug.
- Jordan is psychic and read the name off the mind of a producer. It was purely an accident, though, as Jordan spends most of her time reading the minds of kittens and puppies.
- David Hasselhoff is compelled to appear when anyone on television says his name.
There will be liveblog right here for Thursday evictions!