08.11.09 | Big Brother, Recaps 

Big Brother 11: Jeremy Piven and the Wizard of Coup D’Etat

pivin8Ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie, the house has definitely changed with your departure. Nobody else in the house so clearly personified that strange quantity of reality TV: the yawning gap between how likable you think you are and how much the outside world really hates you. Surely some enterprising social scientist has come up with the proper measurement units. Idiometers? Parsucks? Egofeet? As in, “Ronnie’s belief that America loved him was 27 nerdherdians from the truth.” Get on that, Department of Weights and Measures.

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08.07.09 | Big Brother 

Yes, That Was Me Dressed Like A Bumblebee On Big Brother Last Week

chenbabyI know this is over a week late, but I’ve been traveling, damnit! And I know I already posted about my experience in the forums, but I figured I would tell my Big Brother story on the main page because, well, I can. So read on to hear the THRILLING tale of how I came to be seated within mere feet of Julie Chen’s gestating fetus.

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08.06.09 | Big Brother, Liveblog 

Big Brother 11 Liveblog 8/6

Hi there! Would anyone be interested in a poorly-organized last-minute liveblog? Most of the MSR staff is away from the various home offices right now, including me. I haven’t even had a chance to watch Tuesday’s show yet, to be honest. Plus I’m kind of exhausted. However, seeing Ronnie evicted is too much fun to pass up. While I can’t promise much in the way of commentary, I’d love to hear what y’all have to say. Fun starts 8:00 EDT, 5:00 PDT

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08.02.09 | Big Brother, Recaps 

Big Brother 11: Is that an angry banana, or are you just glad to see me?

Wow, if this season of Big Brother has lacked in terms of savvy deal-making, it’s made up for it in bitter evictions and queasy love triangles. Casey makes a surly half-hearted play to remain in the house, hampered by the apathy of everybody and the pencil-penis-banana costume he’s forced to wear. The producers shake things up in two ways: the dissolution of the cliques that everyone expected, and an America’s Vote that’s finally on something way more important than food. Plus, we can all scour the audience for MSR writer T-bag.

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07.28.09 | Big Brother, Liveblog 

Big Brother 11 Liveblog: 7/28/2009

Time for another liveblog! Join us 9:00 Eastern Time. Remember, non east coasters can use one of the live feeds to join in. You’ll have plenty of time afterwards to despair for humanity.

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07.28.09 | Big Brother, Recaps 

Big Brother 11: Cat Fight Over Mouse Balls

I'm blind!Drama continues to roil the Big Brother house. First we get the massive confrontation of Ronnie, proving that he can fool some of the idiots some of the time but not all of the idiots all of the time. Like evil geniuses before him, Ronnie went back to his lair to cry. It’s just like high school, with less time playing videogames and more time compulsively masturbating.

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07.25.09 | Big Brother 

Big Brother 11: Midseasonreplacements Interviews Laura

laurabb11Midseasonreplacements talks with Laura from Big Brother 11. Her exquisite way of hoisting Ronnie on his own petard (and by petard I mean his massive belly), what her strategy was, and some scoop on how she caught Ronnie weaselly “Ronnieness” red handed during the live show in week one. All that and more after the jump.

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07.23.09 | Big Brother 

Run Ronnie Run. Go Now. Seriously.

fa6atwWeek 2 of Big Brother 11 has been frustrating. It was frustrating watching Ronnie preen and posture and lie and put up Jordan for no real reason other than to assert power (in the vacuum of BB) over women who never looked his way during his pathetic life. Although, I guess he counts that one time the lead in Legally Blonde The Musical looked his way once while singing his favorite number.

As much as show watchers have grown to despise the pregnant worm, feed watches have reached a level of hate I haven’t seen since Cappy’s days in the house. Serious, serious hate.

To top it all off, his Head of Household Tweets and pictures are even more pathetic than you could ever imagine. Let’s dissect.

(Thanks so someone at sucks for the picture.

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07.21.09 | Big Brother, Recaps 

Big Brother 11: Jar Jar Ronnie

my eyes!I have to hand it to Ronnie, he may be a rat or a weasel or whatever dishonest mammal you like, but he did come out on top. He got Braden out of the house, thereby retaining a member of his own clique, and managed a 4-4 split in the votes, meaning there’s plenty of suspects to shift the blame off himself for being the traitor. Plus, he wins HOH! That’s like getting the Sash of Potent Incantations AND the Wyrmguard Legplates! He can totally take the Ragefire Chasm now!

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07.19.09 | Big Brother, Recaps 

Big Brother 11: Most Likely to Suckceed

This season’s Big Brother is off to a roaring start. Usually it takes a week or two before I start to despair for humanity, but this season it’s already happened. Well done BB! This episode featured all the betrayal, lies, fight, slurs, stupidity that we’ve come to know and love about the hamsters. All that, plus Chima delivers the most memorable eviction plea ever, even if most of it is censored.

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