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Midseasonreplacements Entertainment News: 4/04/07

keith.jpgRolling Stones Methusula Keith Richards admits to snorting his father’s ashes mixed with cocaine. Never ones to back down from a challenge, Mick Jagger and Ron Wood have taken to smoking blunts filled with each other’s feces. Drummer Charlie Watts, meanwhile, has reportedly started shooting heroin cut with the Queen’s menses.

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“Scary Spice” has started the next phase of her careeer: having a paycheck baby with Eddie Murphy.

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When it comes to the environment, Rachel Ray talks the talk and walks the walk. Not only does she own a Prius, she also insists on using Ozo Car – a limo service which only has Toyota Prius or Lexus RX400h models in its fleet – for herself, rather than being chauffeured around in a more luxurious town car.

However, she still requires a fleet of 18-wheelers to transport her massive testicles.

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Today’s Celebrity Birthdays include:

Magician David Blaine, 34. He celebrated by smiling for the first time in three years while sitting in a box of room-temperature urine.
Actress Nancy McKeon, 41. To celebrate, she plans on riding a Harley off a cliff in an homage to her career.
Actor Robert Downey Jr., 42. He’ll celebrate this year as he does every year: by shooting up coke mixed with his father’s ashes.

MSR Staff | 04.04.07 | Filed in News

 
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6 responses to “Midseasonreplacements Entertainment News: 4/04/07”

  1. msCCRN says:

    Dear Keith,
    Take heart. You are still on my most likely to die top ten.

    Comment #1 on 04.04.07 at 2:38 pm
  2. honeybunny says:

    Keith looks like he has been shooting up embalming fluids (formaldehyde, methanol, ethanol and other solvents)for years.

    I remember Nancy McKeon/Jo Polniaczek was the first macho bitch I saw on TV.

    hb

    Comment #2 on 04.04.07 at 3:25 pm
  3. may says:

    I can’t believe Nancy McKeon and Robert Downey Jr are just in their 40′s. Man, they look old.
    Keith Richards will probably snort his own ashes after he dies. Then again, he’s like a cockroach – he’ll never die.

    Comment #3 on 04.04.07 at 6:35 pm
  4. chick110 says:

    Maybe he’s already dead and we just don’t know it. He could be some kind of walking zombie or something…

    Ack, Nancy McKeon is the same age as me (well, I will be when my birthday rolls around this year). It seems like just yesterday I was watching her on the Facts of Life.

    Comment #4 on 04.05.07 at 11:33 am
  5. DumbDrunkDonkey says:

    Is it wrong that Scary Spice was my favorite Spice Girl?

    Comment #5 on 04.05.07 at 3:14 pm
  6. Ms. Tumnus says:

    Dude, it’s wrong that you had a favourite Spice Girl. Period.

    Comment #6 on 04.05.07 at 3:25 pm

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