Mad Men: Rape Takes a Holiday.
This week on Mad Men: Betty gets in touch with her inner Italian, Peter blitzkriegs a German babysitter and Joan overthrows the Republic of Dresses.
BTW, I’m going to be traveling for the next week, so chances are there won’t be a recap of this weekend’s episode. Kisses!
“What? I only read it for the articles.”
“I didn’t know you spoke ebonics. Just kidding. Ebony is a magazine for negroes so I thought the language they’d write in would be called Ebonics which sounds like sonic the definition of which is ‘of or pertaining to a sound’ which rhymes with round which is how you describe the derriere of a negro woman like the one pictured on the cover of your magazine. Just kidding.”
“Ebonics, eh? I rather like the sound of that. I should ask my colored friend who pushes buttons on the elevator what he thinks.”
“Can you believe this guy, standing here like he has something to do in this episode?”
“Get off me, stupid shirt! My boys need to be free!”
“Calgon, take me away.”
“Draper residence. Betty’s deflated sense of self-worth speaking.”
“You need me in Rome for two days? Gee, I don’t know. I’d really like to spend some time with my family… Ah, what the hell. Hot Italian chicks, here I come!”
“It’s really too bad we have a baby, or you could bang Italian chicks with me.”
“Fruity Pebbles rock.”
“Now it’s dark?”
“Why yes, I do have an extra ticket to the gun show. But it will cost you… a kiss.”
“Nein. All I have iz zis dress.”
“Sold!”
“Oh mommy, you’re tho pretty.”
“I know. But don’t get any ideas. We don’t live in Kentucky, you know.”
“He said he’d be here. I can’t believe I shaved my legs for this.”
“The power of Rockefeller compels you! Delay your damn dam!”
“Good enough for us.”
“The way you went in there and just swung your enormous sheet of paper around was just so unNordic.”
“Is this Nordic enough for you?”
“Idiot. The Nordics never use tongue inside their recently deceased father’s car. At least not in the front seat.”
“We won, we won, we won we won we won! I kissed a creepy old guy. We won!”
“Do you have this in my, er, MY WIFE’S size?”
“Welcome to the Republic of Dresses. How may I help… Oh, it’s you. Hello Pete.”
“Joan! Thank goodness you’re slumming. You have to help me. I accidentally stained Trudy’s dress. Well, it’s Duck’s fault, actually. If he hadn’t sent me that box of Cuban cigars…”
“The Republic of Dresses? What the hell was I thinking?”
“Good God, what is that stench? Burning rubber?”
“Nope, shoe polish.”
“Twin beds are so sexy.”
“Is that a beehive on your head, or are you just happy to see me? Wait, my English is not so good…”
“Whatever, Ill Douche.”
“I’m only in Rome for one night. But you can be in my pants forever.”
“I can’t believe I shaved for this.”
“What a surprise. For the third episode in a row, I’m wearing the same shirt. And it still hasn’t been washed. Guess I’ll just go in the bathroom and give myself a swirlie before the writers do.”
“I’ll thow you mine if you thow me yourth.”
“I thaid thow me yourth, dumbath!”
“Stop calling your sister a lesbian. And you, stop proving your brother right.”
“I told you I would return it. Who says New Yorkers are unfriendly?”
“Zhank you, Mistah Peetah, but I have had my fill of schnitzel tonight.”
“God, I looked FABULOUS in that dress.”
“After all the trouble I went through to get that dress, I deserve for you to see it on me. But first, we rape.”
“Oh Donny Boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling…”
“Of course I’m with my wife. What makes you think I’d be with anyone else?”
“Connie said we should have some breakfast. And by breakfast, I’m pretty sure he meant sex.”
“Can I help you?”
“Depends. Did you rape my German babysitter last night?”
“I don’t know what that girl told you, but she’s lying.”
“I never said my babysitter was a girl.”
“Well played.”
“It’s okay, Sally. I know your body’s just making too many hormones right now.”
“Mom, how do you make a hormone?”
“Why, you punch her in the nose, silly! HAHAHAHAHA!!”
“Fourteenth floor. Rape, sodomy, philandering….”
“Peter, I missed every part of you…”
“Why does your schnitzel smell like sauerkraut?”
“Oh chaise lounge, how I’ve missed you.”
“Sally, you don’t kiss boys. Boys kiss you.”
“Ath long ath thothe boyth have a vagina, they can do whatever they want to me.”
“Peter, honey, what is it? You look like you’re about to confess getting Peggy pregnant and raping our neighbor’s babysitter.”
“I don’t want you to go away without me again. I had no one to toss my salad”
“Oh Peter, I’ll always toss your salad.”
“What’s wrong? I hate our neighborhood. I hate our friends. I hate our town. I’m just so full of hate.”
“Gee. A shiny replica of the Coliseum. Yeah, that makes everything all better.”
“wtf?”
copygodd | 10.08.09 | Filed in Mad Men
Funny photocap.
Comment #1 on 10.08.09 at 12:34 pmHave a good trip. By the way, what’s with Death Springs Eternal?
Miss it!
Roger in black face will never be better than Dave in Fishnets but I do enjoy the inclusion in your caps cg.
Pete is so smarmy.And Joan is still cleaning up the messes of those Sterling Cooper pricks.
hb
Comment #2 on 10.08.09 at 1:51 pm“Why yes, I do have an extra ticket to the gun show. But it will cost you… a kiss.”
Good call on the freakishly spindly arms. Hadn’t really noticed.
Poor Bets. Living the dream. Except for the suburbia/marriage/kids part.
I still can’t remember the boy’s name, but when I saw him in that filthy shirt again I knew you’d be on it.
Loved The Draper’s hasty exit when Bets started talking kids with the help.
cg – bon voyage
Comment #3 on 10.08.09 at 2:54 pmI recognized the nanny in the Office wedding episode last night. She was married to one of Jim’s brothers. Anyway, excellent recap, as usual. The Thally storyline really cracks me up.
Comment #4 on 10.09.09 at 2:23 pm