The Walking Dead: Last Call.

This week on The Walking Dead: Lori is found, a bad guy falls down and continuity errors abound. Also, Carl makes a stupid face.

All this and more after the jump…

……………

This week starts off right after Lori crashes her car. Well, not literally right after, since she crashed in the daytime and now it’s dark. So I guess we’re starting off figuratively right after she crashes her car. Anywho, a walker is outside trying to get in through the hole Lori’s head made when she cracked the windshield with it, but the hole isn’t big enough for the walker to fit through. Odd. I figured her head would’ve made a much bigger hole, since it’s chock full of motherly wisdom and guilt. But this zombie is just like the honey badger in that he just doesn’t give a shit. He keeps trying to squeeze through the hole to the point that the sides of his face are peeled off. Oh, yuck! Lori tries to climb out of the car, but can’t, so she grabs a random sharp implement and stabs the walker in the eye. Take that, Walker! Lori wriggles out of the car, just in time to encounter another walker trying to sneak up on her. Walkers are sneaky like that. You know what’s not sneaky? Lori shooting the walker in the face. Yay Lori! I mean boo, Lori’s still alive.


I hope she got the zombie rider at the rental counter.

At the bar, we rejoin Rick, Glenn and Hershel right after Rick shot those two Philly wankers. Except something’s all messed up with the time here, too. When Rick shot them last week, it was still daylight. And now it’s all dark and stuff. Did the producers forget to pay the electric bill, or is their continuity person just Totes Notsoamazeballs?

The guys pick through the pockets of the dead men looking for shells, bullets, condoms, Tic Tacs, lint, loose change, sequins and anything else Daryl can use to bedazzle his ear necklace. Just as they’re getting ready to leave, they see some headlights sweep up the street, so they all do a little dance, make a little love and get down tonight. I said get down, dammit! There are people outside, and they don’t sound very happy that they can’t find their friends. You know, the two dudes that Rick shot what seems like a few minutes ago, but is clearly hours ago if we’re to trust something as untrustworthy as THE SUN!

Instead of just hiding and waiting for the new people to leave, Rick does what Rick always does, and tells the bad guys exactly what happened. “They drew on us! They drew on us first!” Bad plan, Rick. If these bad guys are anything like Dave and Fat Tony, they’re gonna think you mean with a Sharpie, and they’re really going to get pissed that you killed their friends because they drew a heart with BFF on your arm. Yep, they’re pissed, and everyone starts shooting at each other. Nice plan, DICK.

Meanwhile, back at the farm, everyone is sitting down to a nice friendly dinner when they realize Lori is missing. No wonder it was so nice and friendly. Of course, Shane has to go after her, what with him being her baby-daddy and all. So he squeals off in the Shanemobile, and all is quiet again at the farm.

Carol decides she needs to walk the long and winding road to Daryl’s encampment (actually just across the field) and let him know what happened. He admits that Lori came to him asking for help, and he told Olive Oyl to find Rick by her own damn self. Daryl’s tired of being told what to do. He’s tired of cleaning up everyone’s mess. And he’s tired of nobody ordering a single ear necklace on Etsy. “I’ve had tons of page views, but not a single goddamn order,” he seethes. Besides, Daryl thinks it’s Carol’s fault that Sophia got lost in the first place. All she had to do was keep an eye on her stupid kid, and instead she spent all her time washing underwear and getting beat up by her husband.

Shane must have been an awesome cop, half bloodhound, half Dirty Harry and half Joe Friday (In Al Gore parlance, that makes him HoundHarryJoe!), because he finds Lori in what seems like seconds after leaving to look for her. Of course, it didn’t hurt that there’s only one road into town, and she was walking right down the middle of it. The better to attract walkers, my dear! She tells Shane she has to go into town and find Rick and tell him to bring Hershel back, because that’s what the voices inside her uterus told her to do. Shane tells her everyone is already back at the farmhouse, all safe and sound, so Lori gets in the car and everything seems all hunky-dory until they get to the farmhouse and she learns everyone is most certainly NOT already back at the farmhouse all safe and sound. You mean Shane lied? Inconceivable!

Shane explains that he lied to her because he was trying to protect the baby. “Wait, what?” is the group’s collective response. Lori’s pregnant? How did that happen? When did that happen? Pre- or post- Rick’s resurrection? I’m not sure the group knows how to feel about this bit of news, except for Carl, who’s all excited that he’s going to be a big brother. What’s so exciting about that, Carl? Chances are the baby’s never going to make it out of Lori’s tummy alive, and even if it does, it’s sentenced to a life of unimaginable hardship and horror, struggling to survive in a world overrun by flesh-eating zombies, where the few remaining humans are even more terrible to each other than the walkers are, and all you can think about is how excited you are that you’ll finally have someone to give noogies to? Carl is so awful.


“Okay Glenn, you go run between all those zombies and get the car. Hershel and I will wait here and yell and point at you so the zombies don’t know what we’re up to.”

Back at the bar, Rick is trying to devise a plan of escape. And of course, his plan involves putting Glenn in the line of fire. Again. He tells Glenn to run out back and grab the car and drive around to pick them all up, and maybe he could gas up and grab some nachos while he’s at it because yum, who doesn’t love some hot, cheesy nachos?

Anyway, after Glenn and Hershel almost shoot each other, Hershel covers Glenn while he sneaks out the back, a bad guy shoots at Glenn, who hides behind the dumpster, Hershel shoots the bad guy, who gets his face eaten off by walkers (the bad guy, not Hershel), Rick shows up to help Glenn and Hershel, another bad guy falls off the roof and gets impaled on a fence and his bad buddies (baddies?) drive off and leave him to die. As always, Rick’s plan worked to perfection.

Well, except for the part where Rick insists they can’t leave the injured bad guy to die, because that wouldn’t be nice. And this is coming from the guy who, in the space of a couple days, shot Sophia in the face and killed two strangers in a bar? Now he’s all “we don’t leave people to die, that’s not who we are” and shit? Fuck you, Rick. Even Hershel knows you’re an idiot, and he’s still drunk.

Rick orders Hershel to amputate the kid’s leg with a rusty pocketknife, but when the walkers get too close, Rick just grabs the kid’s leg and yanks it off the post, which is exactly what Hershel told him NOT to do, because the kid will bleed out. But since it’s Rick that does it, the kid lives and now they have to bring him back to the farm, which is exactly what they didn’t want to do and why Rick shot Dave and Fat Tony in the first place. I hope Rick’s not going to go all Jacob-y on us and start deciding who gets to visit the island farmhouse based on his own skewed sense of right and wrong instilled in him by a bat-shit crazy midwife/mother. Although that would be an interesting plot twist. And a chance to see Sawyer crack wise about a walker’s complexion.

While all this is going on (at least, I assume it’s happening at roughly the same time, although there’s really no way to be certain since the sun has proven itself so unreliable at doing its job), Shane has decided this is the moment he has to have “the talk” with Lori. Seriously, she needs to know how she got pregnant. Also, she needs to know that everything Shane’s done, he’s done it for love. Their time together when they thought Rick was dead never felt so good it never felt so right they were glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife!

So yeah, there’s that.

The next morning everyone (including Daryl!) is gearing up to go search for Rick, Glenn and Hershel, when the missing trio come pulling up the driveway. Okay, so it was still dark when they rescued Randall, but now when they get home there’s a bright morning sun? It doesn’t seem like the town is really all that far away, but evidently looks can be deceiving. Like how Lori looks like an interesting character, or Carl looks like he isn’t completely retarded.

Everyone’s glad to see the guys, until they notice Randall tied up and blindfolded in the back seat. Rick tells them he couldn’t just leave him behind. Uhm, yeah you could, is Shane’s counterargument. They go back and forth a bit more, arguing about who keeps the group safer (Shane), who banged more chicks in high school (Shane), who has a better southern accent (neither) and who’s Lori’s baby-daddy (Hershel?!). Rick tells them as soon as Randall is healthy, they’ll take him back out to the road and let him go. Of course, this plan is anathema to Shane; Randall could bring the rest of his group back to the farm and start a war. It’s far more likely he’ll just get eaten by a zombie, but Shane’s never been one for dramatic understatement.


“I am so turned on right now.”

Hershel and Shane fight. Glenn and Maggie fight. Dale and his eyebrows fight. Shane tells Andrea he should have ran away with her when he had the chance. Maggie tells a pointless story about birth control and swimming with the horses. (I hope that’s a euphemism for something interesting and/or sexual, but knowing Maggie, it’s not.) And finally Rick and Lori retire to the privacy of their tent. Seriously, why are people still living in tents? The farmhouse is plenty big enough for everyone. And even if it’s not, they could at least sleep in the barn, where it’s at least a tad bit safer, although the barn probably still smells like walkers and chicken poop, but still, nothing a good old fashioned Amish barn-airing-out or can of Febreze can’t take care of. What I guess I’m saying is “Ditch the tents, dumbasses!”

Lori tells Rick she thinks Shane is dangerous. She thinks he killed Otis. And he’ll try to kill Rick to protect what he thinks is his: her cooze. (Hey, Fat Tony’s word, not mine.) Rick makes an even more serious face, and we go to credits.

……………..

So, what did you think of this week’s episode? Overall, I liked it. I still wished Lori would have died, but I wish that every episode. Who do you think is a better leader/protector/father figure for Carl: Rick or Shane? Do you think the writers are setting us up for one of them getting killed? If so, I hope it’s Lori.

copygodd | 02.23.12 | Filed in Recaps,The Walking Dead

 
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305 responses to “The Walking Dead: Last Call.”

  1. chelliet22 says:

    Gah, I wish Lori would die too – freaking MISSED opportunity. Well-done – great way to start my morning with LOTS of laughing!

  2. honeybunny says:

    Wouldn’t it be just too too bad if Shane went into a rage and tried to kill Rick but ended up killing Lori.?!!
    The walkers eating the face off that guy in the alley was awesome.

    It’s really time to get off the farm and I need more Daryl and less Hershell.

    hb

  3. may says:

    Yeah, Lori should have been walker food. I didn’t really notice the inconsistency with the light/darkness, what was I watching?
    We need more zombie action.

  4. jenny10girl says:

    I was wondering the same thing about the day/night thing. What – did they hang out staring at the two dead bodies for hours before they even thought about leaving? And Lori should have been AT LEAST wounded…and that walker would have totally ripped her face off if she wasn’t a main charachter. Grr.

  5. theresabohler says:

    I noticed the day/night thing also, although I was hoping for Lori to be eaten by a walker, they are not going to do that, she has to keep shane and rick dangling!!!!! I think this sunday something is going to force them all to leave the farm. I hope so, I am really tired of them being there.

  6. zayonna sherrod says:

    hi my name is zayonna sherrod and i loove the walking dead so so so so and even more much i loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee the walking dead im a really huge big big fan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyways i think rick is the leader because he is cool not that im saying that shame is not cool hes cool to but i feel that rick has more since than shame he is also more responsible and maby a little bit more respectful he also protects lori and carl alot more even shame and the other guys helped rick with alot of things but rick really act that way alot it is something else shame didnt really have to kill that other boy randell in the woods even know he was acting like an idiot and stupid i mean really nobody wants to be killed or wants to die but shame didnt have to kill him and then lie on him but i think rick would be a better nice farther maby in real life too.well instead of rick being the walker maby lori should be the walker and she probably would be really ugly cause i saw a photo of her what she would look like or what shes going to be but if rick be the one lori and the other people would probably be really lost of what to do but really lori or rick should not be a walker because both will be really hurt or lost even know i think rick is the leader both will be really really hurt and lost to see one another as a walker or dead carl would be really really hurt im really sure about all of that so really none of them lori or rick should be a walker or dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  7. zayonna sherrod says:

    so thats what i think another thing that i think its kind of good that shame is dead not that im saying im happy but im really not happy because rick and shame was really alot cool together they was best buddies together but when i saw that episode when shame was an walker it was kind of sad it was also sad to rick cause of the buddie that was his best friends together until he left rick at the hospital and told lori he was dead when he was not dead but it was really nothing shame could have done but put the hospital bed against the door that shows shame had some since he was also there for rick alot and rick was there for shame alot especially on the other episode when shame and rick had randell with them and went where the school bus was and they had randell tied up and then all of them walkers bust out of the glass window cause i see every episode i mean every episode but anyway then a girl walker came up to randell and he was tied up but he had something in his hand and untied his hands just in time but he was still on the ground with his ankels tied up so was wiggling around tring to kill the walker but he did and thats when he untied his ankels after he killed the girl walker then thats when shame had something in his hand trying to kill randell but rick stopped him and then rick and shame got into a fight i think rick had punched shame in the face cause shame was still trying to kill randell when rick stopped him so he punched shame in the face so he didnt kill randell so when they got into a fight thats when the the walkers was trying to get them so shame ran to the school bus and closed the door the walkers was trying to get in the school bus to get in the bus so they was not paying no attention to randell and rick so i guess rick tied randell up and went to the truck so shame thought they was leaving him he was hollering on the bus saying dont leave me please dont but they didnt leave shame why would rick do that to his buddie!!!!u know how i know he didnt leave shame cause he came back with randell driving a truck up to the bus shooting the walkers trying to get they attention so i think shame jump from the school bus window into the truck thats why i think they are great best buddies cause they be there for each other rick came back for shame with him and randell in the truck shooting aint thats something!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 they care for each other but anyways when rick came where everyone was at the beginning of the show bout the first episode or second or third lori start acting funny towards shame cause he told her that rick was dead but he was not so if shame was still alive he would probably be trying to kill rick and then have lori and carl to himself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so thats why shame should kind of be dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee u the walking dead i hope to see the walking dead or i really hope and want to be on the walking dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! love u guys 6/26/12 9:32 A.M.

  8. zayonna sherrod says:

    something else i hope lori gone and have that baby i bet rick is so espeically on the other episode when lori told rick that her and shame did it together rick was so so and even more upset!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he was mad and hurt a whole lot why would they do it together in the woods when they know whats going on out there when they know its a whole lot of walkers around eating people alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!do they know how that feels getting eat alive even though i never felt how it feels!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!but i can inmagine that stuff with a whole lot of zombies witch is walkers around!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but when lori had a pregency test andit showed that she was pregenant she start crying cause i guess she knew it was shames baby and she knew rick was going to be hurt and mad and also sad she also knew her and shame was really wrong for doing that it was the wrong days and also times!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!so the babys is shames baby cause if its ricks baby that would be kind of suprized so i cant wait to see the next episode!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!in fall or winter they say on tv now that it shows and come on july 6,7 or i think,8th 2012 and u know im going to be watching it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  9. zayonna sherrod says:

    i cant wait !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they must be making alot more episodes i really cat wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i kind of want to be on the walking dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!thats really my favorite tv show on amc!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  14. amarpreet says:

    thats not lori look remember when someone called rick

    it was lori calling so it cant be her !

  15. cecelia says:

    ok first of all lorie died by birth of her baby she pushed but she was supposed to have
    sea section with the baby so she died and bled to death she isnt found as a zombie
    yet but she will be on 309,310,311,312,or313

  16. cecelia says:

    rick was imagining lorie on the phone she was not real she passed away or crawls around
    the prison.P.S. carl didnt shoot her he is spreding a roumer’

  17. cecelia says:

    rick was imagining lorie on the phone she was not real she passed away or crawls around
    the prison.P.S. carl didnt shoot her he is spreding a roumer’ this is just one lie spred
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  18. cecelia says:

    sesson 3 was some action at first then they had to have baby birth
    hen lorie died . P.S. i think shane is hot when he has hair.

  19. cecelia says:

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  20. bradley says:

    Ok i like dale so shut up and i bet others don’t want you making fun of their favorite characters either. And jut a tip AMC gives highly detailed reviews if you haven’t seen the episodes so go there. don’t listen to this guy and his eyebrows!!!!!!!!

  21. Tootsie Roll says:

    xD, Cecelia, you said Shane is dumb, when you typed enahS si bmud!! XD

  22. Tootsie Roll says:

    Yaay.. 21 first comment.. -_-

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