Lost: Everything Old is New Again

So before we start, it’s kind of hard to write a recap from the beginning when all you want to do is talk about the awesome ending. The curse of the recapper. Still, the whole show was a tour de force, and a much more significant season finale than last seasons when all that happened was the dumb hatch blew up. God can you believe we wasted a whole season obsessing over that dumb hatch?

The show opens in flashback (or is it? We’ll see. See this is what I mean about not being able to talk about until the end. Damn you Lost!). It’s Jack drunk on a plane on his way to Los Angeles. And he is so drunk that it looks like he bought the cheapest looking fake beard he could find and put it on. It’s amazing what alcohol will make you do.

After he gets spurned when trying to buy another drink he looks over at a newspaper and sees something that leaves him dumbstruck, which believe me, after watching him over the last season, is not a far trip for him to make. He rips out the news paper clipping and then we cut to him driving from the airport in his car, most likely really drunk. He stops the car on a bridge and looks at the clipping again and starts weeping. Lost sleuths on the net have magnified the HD images from screenshots and have determined that the article says the following:

Los Angeles
Man found dead in
downtown loft

“The body of Jo…[unreadable]…[a]ntham of
New York was discovered shortly after 4
a.m. in the…[unreadable]…of Grand
Avenue. Ted…[unreadable]…man at The
Tower…[unreadable]…heard loud
noises…[unreadable]…antham’s loft.
[unreadable]… [sa]fety, he
[unreadable]…discovered the
[unreadable]…a beam in the
[unreadable]…[ac]cordin[g]…[unreadable]…”

lost-05-24-07a.jpgAs usual, it doesn’t tell us much. He then calls someone on his cell phone. We hear a voicemail message and Jack says “Hey. It’s me. I uh… I just read…” and then he hangs up. Jack then gets out of his car and goes to the railing on the bridge and is about to jump off. Then he hears a loud crash behind him. He hears screaming and runs off screen.

Cut to the island. Jack is helping everyone evacuate the camp in preparation for the attack by the Others. He goes up to Sayid who has recruited Bernard and Jin to help him shoot the dynamite. He tells Jack not to come back no matter what. Sayid is willing to give his life for rescue. That’s my Sayid! Bernard and Rose are having a touching goodbye as Rose tells him to remember that he is just a dentist. But know he is a dentist with a gun, and on this earth, there is nothing more dangerous. Hurley is holding the baby and assuring her that Charlie will be fine, Jin is comforting Sun about him staying behind. And with that they are all off.

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The 2007 Hunks of Lost Calendar. I hear June is the fart cloud in a banana hammock.

As they are on their trek Naomi comes up to talk to Jack. She looks over at Juliet who refuses to walk away and asks if she’s “all right”. “Why wouldn’t she be?” a clueless Jack says, forgetting my golden rule regarding Others. Naomi needs to explain how to work the radio in case something happens to her. Once the button goes green all you do is hit a button. It’s Jack so he would need that explained to him. Repeatedly.

In the Looking Glass hatch Charlie is tied up to a chair and being beaten by the two women Others. They ask him how they knew he was down here and that they thought Drive Shafts second album was phoned in. Charlie tells them that Juliet told them about the station. “She’s one of us now” he says. The women then go to call Ben and tell him what’s happened. In the room where the communication device is located, Charlie sees a blinking yellow light. The one that will be his doom.

On the other side of the conversation Ben hears what happened, he is pissed, especially when he realizes that it was Juliet who betrayed him. He tells them to sit tight so he can send help. But not just any help. He sends Mikhail, thinking what better way to help fight off an intruder than with a man who has no depth perception?

When Ben gives him the order Mikhail at first asks why he was told that the station was flooded and inoperable. Ben says because he lied. Duh. Mikhail then warns Ben that if Juliet told then about the station, what else did they tell him? For instance, did she tell them that all male Others have tiny penises? Realizing the horror of letting that information out Ben calls the Others on the beach, but they have turned off their walkie talkies as they are about to attack.

Sayid is of course waiting for them. Once they get close both Bernard and Sayid set of there explosions. Pretty soon the place is littered with the best kind of Others. Dead ones. Unfortunately things don’t go off without a hitch. They are unable to blow the last tent and all three of them are captured by the remaining Others. The rest of the Losties see that there is a missing explosion from far off and realize that their plan didn’t work.

lost-05-24-07d.jpgIn the flashback, Jack is at the hospital being treated. The nurse calls him a hero and tells him that the pres is waiting outside. Then Jack’s ex-wife walks in, 9 months pregnant, but in that TV way where they still retain a 3% body fat ratio. She was still listed as Jacks emergency contact. She asks if he’s been drinking, and where he got that ridiculous fake beard from. Jack refuses to answer. When he asks for a ride home, she says that it wouldn’t be “appropriate”. Harsh.

Back on the island the rest of the Losties are worried that their plan didn’t work. Jack says he is sure that they are OK, and they need to keep moving.

In the looking glass station the women are continuing their interrogation of Charlie, who isn’t cooperating. Now that he has resigned himself to his impending death, he doesn’t really care about their threats. It kind of makes the little junkie somewhat likable.lost-05-24-07e.jpg He says he is here to turn off their jamming equipment, and that no matter what happens, no matter what they do, he will do it. Desmond’s predictions don’t lie. The women say he can’t because he doesn’t have the code. Charlie says it doesn’t matter since the whole station is going to be flooded. “Then what happens to you?” one of them asks. Charlie just smiles. “I die” he says. Damn it, I like the new Charlie.

At the other camp Ben is getting the news of the attack. When one of the Others grabs Sayid and attempt to interrogate him. He just spits in the Others face. I love this man.

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Behold, the loogie of Sayid!

Unfortunately there is a weak link in the group. When Ben tells them to kill Kwan to get them to talk, his plan works and Bernard folds like a cheap suit. He tells them everything. That they are going to the audio tower, about Naomi and the satellite phone. He even tells him that Karl is the one who warned them they were coming tonight. If they gave him an extra minute he would’ve told them Rosebud is a sled, Mark Felt was Deep Throat and he likes to wear women’s underwear. Once Ben hears about Karl, he knows that that means Alex betrayed him.

The next time we see Ben it is in the morning and he is working on a map. The ageless Dr. Alpert sees what he is doing and asks him if they are going to the radio tower. Ben says no, he is the only one going. The rest of the Others are going to “the temple” as planned. Alpert tells him that the camp is asking questions. About Locke, Jacob and the fact that everyone at the beach may be dead. Ben is losing his grip on the Others. Alex then walks up and asks Ben where he is going. He says he is going to find Jack. When Alex says she is going with him, he agrees immediately. Alpert then looks at Ben and says there are over 40 of them and they are determined to leave the island. Ben just says he is going to “talk them out of it”. I’m hoping it’s a series of comments along the lines of “Plleease stay. Pretty please with sugar on top!

Back with the Losties they are stopping to get some water. Kate goes up to talk to Sawyer. She says she wants to go back to make sure they are all right. Sawyer doesn’t care. Kate want stop know what’s going on. Ever since he came back with the tape from Locke he has been a different person. He’s sleepwalking through everything and doesn’t care about anyone, which other than the sleepwalking part is about the same as always with him. Then she says that Juliet came back to check out if she was pregnant too. Sawyer looks at her and says “Well let’s hope you’re not.” Kate really knows how to pick ‘em doesn’t she?

Above the looking glass Desmond is finally coming to and realizes what happened. As soon as he gets up however bullets start whizzing by. It’s Mikhail shooting at him from the shore. Desmond jumps in the water and starts swimming to the station. One he reaches the moon pool Charlie hears him and tells him to hide since there’s a couple of crazy broads with guns. The women hear something and go outside to investigate but Charlie tricks them by lulling them with the dulcet melody of his hit song “You are Everybody”. Gets ‘em every time!

lost-05-24-07h.jpgWe see the Grizzly Jack at the hospital going over the chart of the woman from the accident. The chief of surgery comes in to introduce himself. When he realizes its jack Shepard, he calls him the “hero, twice over” and shakes his hand. Jack says he wants to do surgery on the woman first thing tomorrow morning. Realizing that Jack is a mess, the chief of surgery politely refuses. Jack walks out and into the waiting room. The kid he saved sees him and smiles and Jack smiles back.

Cut to the island. Saint Jack is leading his flock until Sawyer stops. He says he is going back to the beach to which Jack says “No way. We keep moving.” Sawyer tells him that he wasn’t asking for permission. Having someone usurp his ultimate authority over the world, Jack is pissed. Kate then chimes in and says he should go. Jack tells them that without guns it’s a suicide mission. Juliet then joins the conversation by saying she knows of a cache of guns that she can lead Sawyer to. When Jack begrudgingly agrees Juliet says goodbye and does the most disgusting thing imaginable.

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I am going to vomit.

In the underwater station Charlie is still egging on the women Others by singing his horrible pop songs. One of them can’t take any more and says she is going to get the spear gun and ram it into him. Man if they allowed this on American Idol it would be a massacre. Since the locker is where Desmond is hiding, Charlie promises that he will be quiet. Right as she is about to open the locker, Mikhail pops up in the moon pool with his scuba gear on.

“I thought you were on assignment in Canada?” he asks both of them. They say Ben told them to stay behind. Then Mikhail asks him where the other one is. The women have no idea what he’s talking about. Then Charlie interrupts them and asks Mikhail why Ben lied about the station being flooded and is having them jam the signals. This comes as a surprise to Mikhail. When he hears the radio, he holds up his knife and tells them that he will answer it.

We then hear Ben trying to talk his way out of yet another one of his lies. He goes to his usual excuse “Jacob told me to do it” and tells Mikhail he had to jam the signal because the island is under assault. When his ruse works, he then tells Mikhail to kill everyone. Spoken like a true Other.

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I spy, with my little eye, a filthy stinkin Other.

Sawyer meanwhile is passing time on their trip to the beach by asking them what they were doing breaking up rocks when they were captured. Juliet says they are building a runway, but she doesn’t know what for. Sawyer then asks if she’s sleeping with Jack yet, to which Juliet comes back with “No. Are you?” and smiles thinking that that was actually a good comeback. She probably thinks those really big oversize glasses are funny. Others are so dumb.

Then Juliet tells him that there aren’t any guns, She lied about it (big surprise) so she would be able to come with him. Before they can continue Hurley shows up. He says he wants to help. Sawyer says no, that he would just get in the way. Once again, Hurley walks away dejected. Other than feeling sorry for himself, perhaps Hugo should use this time to reflect on the fact that his morbid obesity while not only life threatening, renders him somewhat limited in his ability to help on an island full or murdering others and a giant fart cloud.

Ben meanwhile is telling Alex that he brought her along in order to give her over to her new family. He tells her he knows she betrayed him. Alex brings up the fact that he locked Karl in a cave and almost brainwashed him. Ben says he didn’t want her to get pregnant. So I guess things like contraception, condoms, or even abortions are not really available on the island? If only Jerry Falwell were alive to see this. He’d have made a great Other.

From here we cut to the biggest cliffhanger of all. It’s Locke, lying in the ditch with all the dead Dharma people. He tries to get up but realizes his legs are not working. Then he sees a gun on one of the corpse’s pockets and it’s happy to see him. He grabs it and checks that it’s loaded. Then he holds it up to his head and gets ready to pull the trigger. Then we hear it. The whispering. Locke looks up and sees WALLLLTTTTTT!!!!! Or is it just the fart monster? Walt tells him to get up. Locke says he can’t move his legs, but the Walt apparition won’t hear of it. He says he has to get up because he has “work to do”. And something tells me he doesn’t mean weatherproofing a deck.

Back at the great Exodus, Jack is trying to make Kate feel better by saying that Sawyer was just trying to protect her by saying he didn’t want her to go with him. It’s why jack said the same thing when he was captured. Then Jack says that he loves her. Awwww. How sweet. Kate would kiss him right now but Jack only just got finished kissing an Other which is like licking a public toilet, so she just half smiles.

In the flashback Jack pulls up drunk to a funeral parlor called Hoffs Drawlor in a seedy section of town. He goes inside and there is a coffin laid out. The funeral director tells him no one showed up for the service. Jack is surprised. He gets a moment alone with the coffin but of course doesn’t open it. He cries and puts his hand on top of it to say goodbye. Then he turns around and walks out.

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Who is in the coffin?

Back on the island Jack is asking Danielle how much further. She says only an hour. She also tells Jack that she isn’t planning on leaving the island. After 16 years wandering around by herself and getting really smelly, she thinks of this place as her home now. Before they can continue the conversation, Ben and Alex are standing right in front of them. Ben says they “have to talk”. Jack walks towards them.

Back in the station Mikhail comes out of the communications room and starts asking questions. Will the equipment still work under water? Is it true no one else has the code besides you two and Ben? Does this eye patch make me look sexy? Yes, yes and oh god yes. Mikhail then does what he was told. He takes out his gun and starts to execute the female Others. One of them gets away however so he shots her in the back. When he walks up to finish the job Desmond pops out of the locker and shoots a harpoon into Mikhail’s chest.

Up above Ben is working whatever magic he has left on Jack. Ben says all he wants is five minutes alone. Jack agrees. I would’ve killed Ben on the spot and feasted on his entrails, but that’s the difference between me and Jack. He’s like Rupert Everett in My Best Friend’s Wedding and I’m like that dude in 300, only less gay.

In the flashback Jack is getting turned down for his prescription of Oxycodone, or as its better known, the Rush Limbaugh speedball. She says he’s out of refills. He tries to get it refilled with a new one under his fathers name but she insists on calling his office. He says not to bother and stumbles out.

Ben meanwhile, or in the past, or future, or wherever, is trying to convince Jack not to go. He says that Naomi is not who she says she is. She’s a representative of some people who are trying to find this island. “If you phone her boat, every single living person on this island, will be killed.” Ben says. And since Ben can never actually come clean and explain things in any great detail and since he is a known killer, it doesn’t do much to convince Jack. Seriously though. If been needs to do whatever it takes to stop them, why take in vague generalities. What people? Why are they trying to find the island? Why would they kill all of us if they found it? Ben, if you are that desperate, would it kill you to be a little more specific?

Ben then ups the ante. He’s a classic ante upper. He asks for his walkie talkie and has Tom relay that he has Sayid, Sun and Bernard. If Jack doesn’t do what he says he will order them to kill them all. Jack finally mans up and does the right thing. Nothing. Never negotiate with an Other. When the minute is up shots ring out. Jack is distraught and Ben just says “So sorry Jack” in that snide way of his. That’s all Jack needs and he leaps onto Ben and beats him to within an inch of his worthless life. FINALLY Jack is wising up. All that Other poonany has made his head fuzzy. Then Jack grabs the walkie talkie and tells Tom that after he rescues everyone, he is going to personally come back and kill him.

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Welcome back Jack, We missed ya.

Cut back to Jack and now that he has had his taste, he brings a bloodied Ben back and throws him down on the ground. “We’re leaving” he says. When Alex goes over to see how Ben is doing, Rousseau starts to walk slowly towards her. When Ben looks up and sees her, He looks at Alex and says “This is your mother.” A shocked Alex stands there as Rousseau puts her hand on her face and gently asks her to help her tie Ben up. Sniff. Their first bonding experience as mother daughter. Granted it’s not as cute as painting Easter eggs, but for Lost, it’s not bad.

Jack meanwhile walks ahead to be by himself and reflect on what he just did. Kate comes by and asks him what happened. He tells her. Ben had Sayid, Bernard and Jin killed and he let it happen. He had to let it happen. Man, if this was Sayid there would be no baby tears. You man up and you do what you gotta do. Kate then asks him why if all that is true, did he leave Ben alive? Jack says he did it because he wants to see his face when he realizes he failed completely and everyone got off the island.

lost-05-24-07o.jpgCut to the beach and Tom is one pissed off corpulent man. They killed seven of their men and all they got to do was shoot 3 bullets into the sand. And then we see that Sayid, Bernard and Jin are alive! Ben is a pussy after all! God bless those short dicked Others and their pansy ass ways! But they are not alone…

In the jungle just near the beach, Sawyer and Juliet are standing there with their thumbs up their asses. They have no guns and even if they did, Sawyer can’t shoot for shit. Sawyer could run out their and taunt them to death with his biting sarcasm, but ever since he killed his dad he’s been lacking in that department. And unless any of them have a sick uterus, there’s not much Juliet can do either. But then a miracle happens. A miracle by the name of Hurley. He comes blasting through the jungle in the Dharma van and drives right into the camp hitting one Other and scattering the rest.

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That’ll leave a mark.

Once he comes to a stop Juliet and Sawyer follow him in. Sawyer grabs a gun off the dead Other and hides behind the van. When one of them walks up in front of a tied up Sayid, it happens. Sayid does what he does best. Trips him up and snaps his neck like a twig. Oh Sayid, you know how to hit my spots, don’t you baby?

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No one snaps a neck quite like my boy Sayid.

With that the Losties have the upper hand and the only one left is Tom, who holds up his hands and tells Sawyer he surrenders. Sawyer just looks at him and then pulls out his guns and shoots him in the chest. “That was for taking the kid off the raft” he says. Nice. It’s good to see people are finally learning the cardinal rule. The only good Other is a dead Other. When Hurley tells him that he already surrendered, Sawyer just calmly says “I didn’t believe him.” Amen.

In flashback Jack is jonesing for some sweet Oxy so he is at the hospital and trying to break into a cabinet that contains his glorious pills. After he scores some (and takes a nice taste) he goes to the room of the woman in the accident named. He stumbles around and is interrupted by the chief of surgery. He can see that he is high as a kite. He tells him that the woman, Mrs. Arlen woke up in recovery and told everyone what happened. The accident happened because she saw a man about to jump off the railing. It distracted her and caused her to crash. The chief of surgery then asks him how he got to the wreck so fast. Jack tries to talk his way out of it with a “Do you have any idea what I’ve been through” Things like crazy ass Others, hatches and a fucked up fart cloud that kills African warlords. Deal with THAT, Mr. Chief of Surgery! The Chief then asks him if he’s been drinking. Jack tells him to call upstairs for his father and tell him to “come down here” and if he is drinker than his father, then he can fire him. After that Jack stumbles off.

We then see island Jack leading his flock up the mountain when he hears something on the walkie talkie he took from Ben. It’s Hurley telling the Others that their men are dead. When Jack answers and realizes its Hurley everyone is relieved. When Hurley says that everyone is safe there are hugs all around. Boy did Ben F this one up. In the midst of all the cheering Claire walks up and asks Hurley about Charlie. Hurley says he’s sure he’s safe. He will be back from the station soon.

And then we come to the underwear station. Desmond is at the other end of the moon pool getting the diving gear ready so they can leave. Charlie meanwhile is entering in the code into the communications computer. He enters in Good Vibrations and the yellow button turns off. Thinking he has beaten fate he walks off with a smile until he hears a beeping. A light that says incoming transmission. HE hits the button and the screen comes to life. He hears a voice on the other end. lost-05-24-07s.jpgIt’s Penelope Widmore. Charlie tells her that he is from Oceanic Flight 815 and they need to be rescued because he is a celebrity. He was in a band called Driveshaft and they had a big hit called You are Everybody, but then they did a really lame diaper commercial that didn’t go very well but there’s a greatest hits album and maybe you heard of it? Penny doesn’t really hear any of it since it’s a bad connection. When Charlie sees that’s its Penny, he calls out to Desmond but he doesn’t hear him. Charlie then tells Penelope that they know about her boat and that they have Naomi. Penny says she has no idea what he’s talking about. She isn’t on a boat and doesn’t know any Naomi. Uh oh. That isn’t good.

And it’s about to get worse. As Desmond is getting things ready he looks over to the deck and sees that Mikhail s body is gone. He then starts running to Charlie. As he gets close he can see that he is talking to Penny and screams out her name. Charlie then hears something clinking on the glass porthole. It’s Mikhail in scuba gear holding a grenade. He smiles and pulls the pin. The grenade goes off and the room starts to fill with water.

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Charlie immediately goes to the bulkhead door and closes it locking himself in. As the room fills with water Charlie gets a peaceful look in his eyes as he is about to die. But before he does he writes something in his hand and pushes it up against the glass “NOT PENNYS BOAT” is what Desmond reads. Then Charlie backs away, does the sign of the cross, and drowns. OK, I know I am an avowed Charlie hater, but the scene is done really well. The string music, the sign of the cross. lost-05-24-07u.jpgEven a crusty old guy like me got a little weepy. But still, I am confused. Why didn’t he just swim out the porthole? It was big enough for him to swim through and he could’ve swum up to the surface with no problem. And besides, he didn’t even have to close the door. The porthole wasn’t that big so it’s not like it was flooding at an insane amount of speed. Desmond had all the scuba gear ready anyway. Just leave. And what about Mikhail? I am assuming he killed himself with the grenade because how else can you have a grenade go off underwater in the exact spot you want it to. Plus its not like he could’ve swam away from it in time. Of course there was no blood or guts in the explosion but that could be because it’s ABC. And also, how did he recover from a spear in the chest that quickly and be able to put on diving equipment and get a grenade out? I know the island has healing properties, but the Other that he shot wasn’t healing and she wasn’t shot in the heart. Why does he heal but the Other Other’s don/t Tom got shot in the same place that Mikhail did with the sear but he’s dead. All the Others in the beach attack died. The only one so far that has been healed by the island were Locke, Rose, Sawyer (bite on his hand) and Mikhail. Unless I am missing someone. Why some and not others? And one final thought. Since Charlie obviously just committed suicide, since we’ve established there were multiple ways for him to save himself. Plus the fact that he was a catholic, all means he is know burning in hell for all eternity. I’m just sayin.

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Sorry, Charlie

Back up top Naomi looks down at her phone and sees that the green light is on. Charlie did it. She turns it on but all she gets is Rousseau’s message. But that’s OK, they have arrived at the tower. Jack and Rousseau go inside the radio communications station and see the dusty radio equipment that is still playing the message. Rousseau goes and turns it off. Then Jack turns to Naomi and tells her to do it.

They all go outside as she tries to find a signal. Everyone gets excited as she starts to get a signal. Ben is trying one last time to stop him. “Jack. I know you think you’re saving you’re people, but it’s a mistake.” he pleads. Jack wont here of it. Then Naomi gets a signal. Just as she is about to send it, we here the familiar “thunk” sound that all TV shows and movies use to indicate a knife has just gone into someone’s back. Trust me; the sound is much different in real life. Blood drips out of Naomi’s mouth and she drops to the ground dead. Then we see Locke standing there. Locke who couldn’t kill his evil father can now kill Naomi, who for all he knows is an innocent woman trying to get rescued. I guess spending a few hours ruminating about life in a pit of decaying corpses changes your worldview.

Locke tells everyone to step back and pulls out a gun. We start to hear the phone ringing. Jack picks up the phone. “You’re done keeping me on this island” Jack says. Locke says he will kill him if he has to but Jack calls his bluff. Locke can’t do it and lowers his gun. Then someone on the other end answers the phone. It’s a man named Milkowski. Jack tells him who he is and asks if hey can get a fix on his position. He says he can and that they will be right there. Everyone cheers, apparently not giving a shit about Locke just shoving a huge knife into a womans back about 10 seconds before. Life on the island you get used to that kind of stuff I guess.

We then go to the final flashback sequence. Jack is sitting alone in his apartment drinking tequila straight from the bottle, or as I call it “Tuesdays”. He is surrounded by ocean maps. He calls his phone again and this time he gets through to the person he was trying to talk to. He says he needs to talk to her and to meet him at their usual spot. Then we see Jack pull up in the dark outside an airport at the end of the runway where the planes take off. A car comes up behind him. In the darkness the person comes out and its….Kate! Holy F’in shit. At first I am unbelievably confused and think that this is a flashback and they both knew each other before the crash and were keeping it quiet as part of some insidious Other plot. But Kate dispels that fairly quickly. “Saw you on the news. Still pulling people out of burning wreckage huh?” That seals it. Everything we’ve been witnessing up to this point has not been a flashback. It’s been a flash FORWARD. lost-052407z.JPGAnd when you look back the clues are all there. The funeral parlor Jack went to with the mysterious dead person was named Hoffs Dawlar which is an anagram for Flash Forward. But now there are other questions. Why did Jack refer to his father in the present tense? Is he not dead? And who was it that died? Was it Locke? Ben? Or maybe, if you think a bout it, its been real time and everything that we see on the island this episode is really a flash back? Am I blowing your mind yet?

Kate asks him why he called. Jack hand shim the clipping, saying he hoped she heard and maybe went to the funereal. “Why would I go to the funeral?” she says in disgust.

Jack says that he has been flying a lot lately. He is using the “gold pass” Oceanic gave them. And every time he flies, he hopes that it will crash. Because he wants to get back to the island.

“This is not gonna change..” Kate says, but Jack cuts her off. “No! I am sick of lying! We made a mistake.”

Kate just says she has to go “He’s going to be wondering where I am.”. Before she leaves he grabs her and says “We were not supposed to leave.” Kate just says “yes we were” and walks off. As she gets in the car Jack is left there alone screaming “We have to go back!” Cut to black.

Wow. What can you say? All I want to know is where do we go from here? How much time has passed from when they called for help and the flash-forward started? What have they been lying about? Did they all agree to not talk about the Others and the fart cloud? If they were rescued from the island, why can’t they find out where it is to get back to it? And why haven’t they tracked down that murdering piece of shit Michael and had him arrested for multiple homicides. OK, one. Ana Lucia was asking for it.

Here’s my hypothesis for next season: It starts of from where the flash forward left off. Why? Well, we have already burned up everyone’s back stories. The new season in my mind will be the Losties as they are back home readjusting. We all know the Others have a presence in the real world as well as Jack’s attempts to get back to the island. And as the season progresses we will see flashbacks to what happened to everyone from when they got rescued up until know. With the 4th season finale being them returning to the island to figure out once and for all what is going on there, with particular emphasis on that goddamned four toed statue.

That’s just my hypothesis but if I’m right it’s a masterstroke. In one fell swoop they have completely reinvented the show from the ground up. And I think I may be right. J.J. Abrams did the same thing to the third season of Alias, upending the whole plotline of the show and reinventing it.

So compare this season finale with the snooze fest that was Heroes season finale and this will show you that the original is still the best. Bravo, Lost, Bravo.

EdHill | 05.26.07 | Filed in Lost,Recaps

 
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26 responses to “Lost: Everything Old is New Again”

  1. T-Bag says:

    Very well done, Ed. Now that the recap is over, I’m going to start going through extreme Lost withdrawal. Can’t believe we have to wait until February for more episodes and more EdHill recaps.

    And I agree with you. Lost once again kicked ass. I can’t wait for Heroes and Lost to square off next season – Heroes is going to have a hell of a time keeping up.

  2. gill says:

    Wow, that was a really quick turnaround – great recap!

    I love how it’s not just me who has the knee-jerk reaction to yell WAAAAAAALLLLLLLT! whenever he’s on-screen.

    “Kate would kiss him right now but Jack only just got finished kissing an Other which is like licking a public toilet, so she just half smiles.” Hahahah, best line!

    I agree with the Charlie scene – I was never a fan, but it was very well done. Even though he could’ve escaped, I think he sacrificed himself because Desmond said Claire & the baby wouldn’t be rescued unless things happened exactly as he saw them, so that meant Charlie HAD to drown.

    My guesses:

    How much time has passed from when they called for help and the flash-forward started?
    Someone matched up the newspaper headline with a real LA newspaper from April 5, 2007. Add that to the Krzr phone Jack was using, I’m guessing it’s supposed to be real time (well, a month off, but still very close to real time). They crashed in 2004 & were there for 3-ish months, so about 3 years.

    What have they been lying about? Did they all agree to not talk about the Others and the fart cloud?
    I think they all are being forced to deny the crash & they’re not allowed to see each other (why else would Jack & Kate meet at such a random spot? I’m sure they could’ve found a Starbucks or something.) That would also explain why no one was sympathetic towards Jack. Even if it’s been three years, I’d assume his ex-wife & new boss would be more understanding. And I’d also think that it would be on the news that the ‘hero’ who saved the woman & son in the car crash was a plane crash survivor.

    If they were rescued from the island, why can’t they find out where it is to get back to it?
    No guess on that one, but like you said, Jack’s place was covered with maps, so he was clearly trying to find it.

    And why haven’t they tracked down that murdering piece of shit Michael and had him arrested for multiple homicides?
    I think it was Michael in the casket. There aren’t any characters with Jo… …antham in their names, so maybe they all live under assumed names now (as part of the whole lying thing). If I were Kate, I wouldn’t go the funeral of the man who handed me over to the Others either. But Jack still goes by his real name, so that’s probably wrong.

    I agree with T-bag – can’t believe we have to wait until February for new episodes & recaps. I hope they do those little sneak peeks like they did during the hiatus this year.

  3. Firecat says:

    “Pretty soon the place is littered with the best kind of Others. Dead ones.”

    That was the best line for me. LOL. This recap was pure awesome.

    I’m not lots of thoughts on the LOST vs. Heroes debate. I know LOST is back with a vengeance, and next season will kick ass. And Heroes had an awesome first season, but there is always a possibility that the next season isn’t as strong. Afterall, I didn’t think season 2 of LOST was near as good as the first season.

    Of course, Heroes had a start and proper finish…with fews ends to tie up. So maybe that will work in it’s favor.

    Regardless, I want to take a pill that will knock me out until the next season of both shows start. Something that will put me in a coma.

  4. HugeLostFan says:

    I am a ‘gasm reader who mourned the loss of the best writers and thru a recap found a link to this site and…suddenly all is right with the world again- a Lost recap from EdHill- is it my birthday??!!

    Anyways, back to Lost. Why is Kate not in jail in the future? That combined with Jack’s insinuations that his Dad is alive makes me think that the past is altered somehow after life on the island?? Very confusing, so many questions- such a great finale.

  5. cheezeliz says:

    “And then we come to the underwear station” This is why I love you and your recaps Edhill. Thanks.

  6. chick110 says:

    “With the 4th season finale being them returning to the island to figure out once and for all what is going on there, with particular emphasis on that goddamned four toed statue.”

    Thank you. I’m glad I’m not the only one jonesing to know WTF that statue is all about.

    Great recap! Is it September yet??? Oh, that’s right, we have to wait for January, right?

  7. boomersmommy says:

    “And once again we are facing a looong summer.” …and fall and half a winter…

    My favorite part? Hurley crashing through the woods in his Dharmamobile and plowing into that nasty son-of-a-bitch other. Goooooo Hugo!!!!

  8. plethLaura says:

    Top notch recap TOP NOTCH! Now lets go shoot 9 holes with Dr. Beeper.

    I also need to know wtf is up with the foot monument.

    But WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN? And the other abductees who were initially taken? Donde esta?

    I’m so glad Juliet can’t redeem herself to you either. She is and always will be a filthy stinkin’ other pirate whore.

    Big Brother in a month. YAY!

  9. zoobabe says:

    Great recap Ed! I’m frustrated with the fact that the FF was so ambiguous, but I guess that’s what this show is all about. I too think that Charlie did not save himself b/c he wanted to make Desmond’s prophecy come true and save Claire. It didn’t make me cry any less though b/c that was such a sad scene. Sayid gives new meaning to the phrase “I could kick your ass with my hands tied behind my back”. So brutal, but so sexy/brave! It will be a long wait until the new episodes, but here’s something to ponder. Maybe the four-toed statue is the “temple” that Ben spoke of?

  10. J-Jay says:

    Greatest Hits, Season Finale edition:

    #5 – Rose: (to Jack) If you say “Live Together, Die Alone” I’m going to punch you in the face.

    #4 – Hurley runs over an Other.

    #3 – Sayid kills an Other with both hands tied behind his back.

    #2 – Ben: (to Jack) I’m so sorry.
    Jack whales on Ben’s face.

    #1 – Sawyer: (after shooting Tom) That’s for taking the boy off the raft.

    I almost detected a change in Juliet’s botox frozen expression.

  11. chooch850 says:

    Ed, I think Jack’s beard was real, not fake for once. Loved the recap as always. I hope we see the Temple and Jacob next season. Why wasn’t Ben suprised to see Locke at the end. After all, he shot him and left him for dead. And after Mikail and Jack helped heal Naomi, no one seemed to care that Locke stabbed her in the back. They just left her lying there in a heap. She wasn’t even an Other.

  12. zevonia says:

    Thank you, EdHill. What am I supposed to do without this show and your recaps?!? My cooter is sad.

    By the way Charlie won’t be burning in hell for committing suicide. His “suicide” was to help others and God takes into account the person’s state of mind. Or so all those religion classes I took with the penquins led me to believe. Now he will be in purgatory for a long time for all the drugs and kinky sex but, then, won’t we all.

    I like your hypothesis. If true, it should make for an interesting season. Just no more “how Jack got a tattoo” flashbacks, please.

    Personally I think the four toed statue is an homage to Fred Flintstone. Some filthy, stinkin’ Other was a BIIIG fan.

  13. BaskEtcAse says:

    If Charlie was a good Catholic, he would know to use his right hand to make the sign of the cross! Very sad scene. Needed tissues.

  14. wendy_loohoo says:

    My sister another Lost fan and pharmacist was very annoyed with the scene at the drug store. Apparently you can never get refills on that stuff you always need a new RX. But that is a different story, altogether.

    Kate looks better with freckles. Jack looks better without a stupid beard, but he is still an idiot and maybe he should ask Hurley about the mental health facility he was in because Jack needs help.

    I assumed that the reference to Jack’s Dad being alive was an Oxy fueled delusion and he confuses time (he thinks he is in the past when he isn’t etc.) The rest of the crew have made piece with their lot in life and moved on, but I do wonder why Kate isn’t in prison.

    Yes when I saw Walt at the first commercial break I did yell WAAALLLLT, and my fiance looked at me weird but I am used to that! :)

    I think that Penny is not associated with the people on Naomi’s boat but they are actual Dharma people finally checking in after they lost all contact when the Flame was blown up. That theory does mean that I have to buy that Ben allowed that signal to leave the island, and that he would want to continue the food drops just to make it easier on them. But all in all Ben is just a nastly liar and while some may die I can’t wait to see how many get off the island.

  15. dent says:

    Gosh WALLTTT! has grown up. His voice has changed and everything. I guess the anti-aging isn’t working on him.

    I also think that Jack is confused and drugged out and that is why he mentioned his father.

    To agree with everyone else, I was not a huge Charlie fan, but the Hobbit should be very proud of his final scenes. I thought his acting was awesome and I even got a little teary over a death that we have known was coming for weeks.

    And how great that the true heroes were the losties we havent seen too much of lately- Bernard, Jiin, Hurley, and of course Sayid.

  16. kaliponi girl says:

    “I’m like that dude in 300, only less gay. ”

    Paolo?

  17. tigereye says:

    wonderful recap, i knew it would be. I too am pissed to have to wait so friggin long for the next season. yes! let us know if there’s random crap in between! might keep me remotely satiated.
    Wendyloo-i had a refill on both vicodin/oxycodone scripts that i’ve had in the past..

  18. poor, dead shannon says:

    finally just watched the finale last night… some random musings…

    >>> my favroite edhill word has always been “cooter”…. but i dunno…. “Other poonany” ranks pretty high too.

    no one can bring the vulgar like our edhill.

    >>> if not for the Jack Bauer chain hanging of Fayed on “24″, that Sayid kill would rank as the best TV kill EVER. Sorry Sayid, but you still need some work to reach “Mistah Buawah” status.

    it was driving me CRAZY where i’d seen the Looking Glass Broads from before… both were on 24 in big roles… blondie was the bat-shit crazy terrorist sister in Season 2, and brunette was CTU agent Sarah from Season 4 who got tortured for being a suspected mole.

    man i love it when 24 and Lost collide.

    >>> who else jumped up and cheered when hurley plowed that Other with the “Shambala” van?!?!!

    >>> good riddance Hobbit. (although he gets props for channeling Sawyer and calling Mikhail “cyclops”. good one.)

    it’s a sad long wait til January,
    PDS

  19. ryandad says:

    Any change Ben was pulling a con ala Brer Rabbit? Please don’t use the phone (please don’t throw me in the briar patch). Maybe a little reverse psychology going on. Naomi told Patchy that she wasn’t alone, Ben wasn’t that freaked out when Patchy shared that she was on the beach. Perhaps Ben’s trip to the radio tower was to make sure that Jack actually made the call.

  20. hARDLY@wORK says:

    “Then Naomi gets a signal. Just as she is about to send it, we here the familiar “thunk” sound that all TV shows and movies use to indicate a knife has just gone into someone’s back. Trust me; the sound is much different in real life.”

    Anything you’d like to share ed?

    LOVE, love, luved , luuuuvvved the recap. The captions for the screencaps were great– “sorry, charlie”- so obvious but still so freaking hilarious.

    So sad that we have to wait. Why can’t there be an all sayid, all the time network? That would hold me over.

  21. chick110 says:

    WRONG!!! All Sawyer all the time. That’s how it should be!!! LOL, or we could each have our OWN channel! :D

  22. Corri2 says:

    OK, first of all, who REALLY did this recap? EdHill NEVER gets a recap up this fast! JK! I’m thrilled that it was posted so quickly. Excellent recap of an excellent episode. I am already having withdrawal.

    I had a feeling this was a FF from the first moment I saw Jack. I was told by someone before the episode aired that this is what is going to happen from here on out. That person didn’t that info was spoilerish and didn’t think it was going to start with this episode. Surprise! That was a big spoiler! Oh well. I loved the FF and I think it’s going to be very interesting to see how they do it from here on out.

    I don’t have any guesses on any of the questions that have been posed in this recap and comments section. I do agree with the theory that Charlie felt he HAD to die in order for Claire and Aaron to be saved. He had made peace with it. And he obviously loved Claire (and Aaron) since he wouldn’t allow Desmond to take his place in the hatch and he wanted to make sure they were saved. I never had a problem with Charlie (except for when he kidnapped Sun) and I am very sad that he died. I just hope he didn’t die in vain.

    Sawyer just looks at him and then pulls out his guns and shoots him in the chest. “That was for taking the kid off the raft” he says. Nice. – I applauded.

    The only good Other is a dead Other. – Amen, brotha.

    When Hurley tells him that he already surrendered, Sawyer just calmly says “I didn’t believe him.” Amen. – Amen to your Amen. Again I applauded this.

    ryandad says: Any change Ben was pulling a con ala Brer Rabbit? Please don’t use the phone (please don’t throw me in the briar patch). Maybe a little reverse psychology going on. Naomi told Patchy that she wasn’t alone, Ben wasn’t that freaked out when Patchy shared that she was on the beach. Perhaps Ben’s trip to the radio tower was to make sure that Jack actually made the call. – Good one!

    zoobabe says: Sayid gives new meaning to the phrase “I could kick your ass with my hands tied behind my back”. – I second that.

    zevonia says: My cooter is sad. – HAHAHAHA!!!

  23. PearlBlackDragon says:

    Although the recap was up in a timely manner, I felt that I must wait an inordinate amount of time to read it so that all would still be the same.
    LOVE the recap. I missed the first hour of the show and this filled me in…thanx buddy.
    Recap was funny as hell and I don’t know how I am gonna last until next YEAR to get back to Lost.

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