Big Brother 8: Dick vs. Daniele
Sunday’s show was Big Brother’s version of a clip show, where the two remaining houseguests sit around the house and (prompted by the producers) reminisce about the past season. So we’ll fast forward with a photo recap of the clip show.
“We are awesome! We won the game! I can’t believe that loser Zach thought he could beat us!”
”I don’t agree with your methods, but it worked”
”Daniele, we are the best people to ever play this game.”
”It’s been sooooo hard. It’s been harder for me than anybody. Remember all those fights?”
”This is sooo frustrating! You’re a like having a mean friend! You’re not listening!”
”Oh, Daniele, I want to be a father now that you’re an adult I don’t have to raise you or anything. You’ll bring your cute friends by my bar after this, right?”
”Ha, I’m glad reality TV has made that all better! It really turned around during the first round of the final HOH competition, remember?”
”I can’t go on, Daniele. This worse than the time I had to massage Dee Snider’s prostate.”
”Dad, I know you can do it. But if you can’t, it’s OK. If there’s one thing I’m used to, it’s you disappointing me.”
”Does anyone care about that prick yelling abuse at me for seven hours? Or that i won that round? Zach so angry!”
”That was the best Dad. I really liked how CBS played championship music even though you lost. And all the hate you spewed reminds me of all your other awesome, obscenity-laden rants.”
”I remember too, honey. It was either my strategy or I really am an abusive asshole. Who cares? They were a bunch of defenseless losers, anyway. Look at them.”
”Ha, ha! Honestly, I’m glad you got rid of them! The worst was Jen thinking she could fight back!”
“Don’t blow smoke on me!”
”Stupid bitch. What a catastrophe of a human being! You know who else I liked calling a bitch? Amber. ”
”Sob. God, I need help with dieting and not sucking. Sorry about the meth addiction.”
“Don’t cry Amber! You’ll be a model when you get out of here. I’ve been praying on it over at the jack shack”
”Thanks Jameka! I could easily win America’s Next Top Model with my looks and personality. After all, I have a child to think about when I’m not on meth.”
“Don’t hurry back, Mom.”
”Remembering that was sooooo frustrating. Honestly, people don’t know how hard it is.”
”Hey, do you think the showmance between Jessica and Eric will work out?”
”I love you. Move to Kansas and stay with me forever.”
”Sure, who needs culture, art, music, diversity. As long as there’s cable and I can visit my family for Thanksgiving, I’m good. Oh, and I get to bone you too, right? That’s part of deal.”
“You’re funny. Jews don’t celebrate Thanksgiving! It’s when Jesus gave the Indians smallpox.”
”…..um…. Who cares, you’re still hot”
”I don’t care either! You still have a huge trouser twinkie. Now let’s gross everyone out by sucking face in the HOH room.”
”Hey! Eric’s not the only one who got to cheat on their lover in the house. What about my true romance with Nick?”
”Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiicccccckkkkkkk!!!!!!”
“Braaiiiiiiiinssssss! No, wait, I mean… Daaannnieelllllle!!!!. You’re the beeeeeeeessssss kneeeeeesssssss!!!! Have my suitcase keeeeeyyyyyyyy!!!!!!”
”Good times, good times. Honestly, I can’t wait to see how many collages he’s made for me when I get out. Remind me to break up with my boyfriend, too”
”Whatever. The best part will be going to Europe when this is all over. “
”But not with each other, and not if I win, sucka! I mean, Dad.”
”We couldn’t have made it without each other…This is the dream come true. This is a happy ending.”
brilliantmistake | 09.18.07 | Filed in Big Brother,Recaps
That was absolutely brilliant, Brilliant!
Comment #1 on 09.18.07 at 2:00 amWOW…that was amazing. You’ve totally brightened up my day, and I feel less depressed going into tonights finale…whenever I decide to watch it.
Comment #2 on 09.18.07 at 4:40 amYes, that was beyond a doubt the most inspired recap I’ve seen. What I love about youse guys is that you are always able to encapsulate, whether in words or images, exactly how I feel–even when I am myself powerless to wrap communicable meaning around whatever the stuff of the moment actually IS. Well, depending, of course, on what IS is…
Comment #3 on 09.18.07 at 5:39 amI had taped Sunday’s show to watch last night, but opted to wait for the recap instead. Thanks for all the screen caps too. Glad to know I didn’t waste time last night!
Brilliant (as usual), brilliant!
Comment #4 on 09.18.07 at 7:04 amthat was AWESOME!!!!!1 You are the bees knees brill!
Comment #5 on 09.18.07 at 8:16 amI heart that recap even if you didn’t add in a pic of Johnny Depp in his Nightmare movie. I realize it probably didn’t go with the whole theme and all, but IT’s JOHNNY DEPP!!! ;)
Loved all of the Godzilla, Mothra et al pics. Reminds me of Saturday afternoons watching fun TV.
Comment #6 on 09.18.07 at 9:54 amStanding O here, brill. That is AFTER I cleaned up all the coffee I just spit all over my screen. But….standing O!
Comment #7 on 09.18.07 at 10:00 amBrillant! Yes. You. Are.
hb
Comment #8 on 09.18.07 at 10:50 amThat was better than the show EVER could be. Thanks for taking one for the team. Like everyone has said, it is brilliant, brilliant.
Comment #9 on 09.18.07 at 12:20 pmThis finale is soooooooo fruuusssttraaaiiittting.
Honestly, I loved this recap! It was soooooooooo fantastic! Thanks for all the laughs this summer.
Comment #10 on 09.18.07 at 1:09 pmYou nearly made a grown man wet his pants. I hope you’re happy. You definitely saved the best for last. Pure Jenius.
Comment #11 on 09.18.07 at 1:15 pmWonderful recap! It was pure perfection.
Comment #12 on 09.18.07 at 1:42 pmThis was hilarious. Great pulls – each fit so perfectly!
although, watching the finale (yes, i am still going to watch it) will have an entirely different feel as i picture D&D like this.
BM – you can totally have my suitcase key.
Comment #13 on 09.18.07 at 1:43 pmhahhaha…oh my…priceless
Comment #14 on 09.18.07 at 2:33 pmThat was awesome. Thank you.
Comment #15 on 09.18.07 at 3:35 pmAHAHAHA That was freaking AWESOME!!!
But, um, I missed the show, so who won?
Comment #16 on 09.18.07 at 4:18 pmCT, the winner is announced tonight, so you haven’t missed anything yet.
Comment #17 on 09.18.07 at 5:20 pmThis is why I LOVE this place! Thanks bm!
Comment #18 on 09.18.07 at 10:16 pmI forgot to point out the “catastrophe of a human being” and the last screencap caption about a happy ending are actual quotes from Dick.
Comment #19 on 09.18.07 at 10:25 pmI especially like the hulk pictures.
Comment #20 on 09.19.07 at 11:59 amgreat job.
AWESOME! :P I love the Amber comments! :P
Those two annoy me…
Comment #21 on 09.22.07 at 12:26 amGood attempt not o be so flat as others.
Comment #22 on 12.16.08 at 11:35 am