Paula Deen Coronary Watch: Lard Dog Edition

Mmmm, hotdogs. Everyone loves them. A little mustard or ketchup, maybe some relish and/or sauerkraut and there you go. Ha! Not in Paula Deen’s world. How dare you. Here’s what you do, heathen: Take your already grossly unhealthy hotdog and wrap the whole thing in bacon. The fattier, the better. At this point, you can call it “The Homer.”

What’s a bacon wrapped hotdog covered in butter-fried onions without gobs and gobs of melted Velveeta? I mean, who are you people? Don’t you know anything about food? Now, I believe we have “The Cartman.”

Alas, Paula was not through. Bacon, onions, cheese and… several spoonfuls of lard. That’s right, straight up lard from a bucket. I swear.

Yummy! Finally, “The Paula.” I love her but I swear, if any human being actually ate half the crap she cooks (She also made a blooming onion this episode) he or she would not last beyond the age of 30. Paula’s necessary kitchen items: Cast iron skillet, Kitchen Aid Mixer, roasting pans, defibrillators…

Next, look out for “Countdown Until Rachel Ray is Institutionalized,” and “Can Alton Brown Make Toast in Under 30 Minutes?”

sg-dub | 11.14.05 | Filed in Food Network,Misc

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