Aside from about thirty total seconds (which, admittedly, are awesome), this episode is almost entirely filled with things designed to waste time until shit can start going crazy leading up to the season finale. For instance: Bill and Sookie break up, and it’s really obnoxiously dramatic, but then they get back together the next day. Thank GOD! Also, Tara yells at everybody, Jason and Crystal (who?) finally have sex, and we experience the most pointless girl fight ever.
I’m working on my recap of True Blood (expect lots of, “I don’t care about this,” and also, “Why is everyone fucking in puddles of blood all the time?”), but since this season of Big Brother has proved to be a total snore, I became very excited upon awaking this morning to find the cast of Survivor: Nicaragua has been announced! As we heard before, the twist this season is it’s Old People vs. Young People, which already sounds HILARIOUS, and will give us each someone to root for right off the bat. BOOOO OLD PEOPLE. Get off the stage! Go Young People! Web 2.0! YouTube! Twitter! Anyway, let’s make sweeping generalizations based on almost nothing, shall we?
You know, I really thought the public art project was going to be the creative low point of this series. I mean how much worse than a dangerous tree fort and an assortment of lumps can these pieces get? Sadly, on this episode we found out. And on the plus side, not one but two contestants get topless for art!
After last week’s exercise in almost making this show enjoyable and then throwing it all out the window, True Blood is BACK, y’all, and more confusing and gross than ever! On the plus side: Lots of people die this episode, so maybe we’ll have less plots to follow? Just kidding, next week we’ll probably get all caught up in the love triangle surrounding one of the random guys who were betting on the dogfighting ring this week. Also: Yes. Dogfighting happened for some reason. Brace yourself, this is going to be rough.
Last week on WANGA we bid an overdue farewell to Erik, felled by winsome cherub Miles. For a muppet, Miles has managed to engender a lot of animosity. Mark kicks off the show by calling him fake, an opinion that’s also been expressed by a few others. I’m not really sure how to take this. Do they mean he cultivates a persona? I see that, but it’s not like everybody else on the show hasn’t done the same, from Erik’s tattooed tough guy to Ryan’s hipsterism to Peregrine’s … whatever those clothing choices are supposed to invoke (that she’s colorblind)? Or does it mean that once the cameras are off he drops the twee personality in favor of pistol whipping his fellow contestants while chain smoking and slugging back tequila shots? Or what we here at MSR call “coffee breaks.”
For all those who say I’m too negative about this show, let me say this, and listen up because I’ll only say this once: I actually enjoyed a large portion of this episode, without any irony WHATSOEVER. But then Evan Rachel Wood appeared on camera and Bill started overacting, and I was just like, “Welcome back, True Blood! I almost forgot you were horrible for a second!”
Hey kids, I’m back. And so is our favorite show about advertising since Bosom Buddies. When last we left our good friends at Sterling Cooper, Don, Roger and Burt talked Lane into firing them, so they wouldn’t be folded into another agency. Together, our three stalwart heroes formed a new agency and hired Lane, who told his British handlers to suck it. They also took Pete, Peggy and Joan with them, along with all their personal issues. Now, as this season starts, Sterling, Cooper, Draper, Pryce (SCDP), has been in business for a year, during which they’ve outgrown their small hotel room and now occupy an entire floor in the Time-Life Building. On the home front, Bitty divorced Don and married Henry Grace, some stupid political tool. And Sally is still a lethbian-in-training, although her lisp seems to have gone the way of the dodo.
Still with me? Good, because we’re just getting started…
It’s another episode of this ridiculous show, and things are heating up! Just kidding, we waste a lot of time this week, which is saying a lot for this show. Although the whole cast seems to have relocated to Mississippi, probably because of the fact that Louisiana seems like it’s on its way to being completely covered in oil. Luckily for HBO, BP and FEMA are complete and total assholes, which relegates True Blood to being merely the third worst thing to ever happen to Louisiana. Anyway, this infernal show is spilling out across state borders to pollute even more of our great nation, and it shows NO SIGNS OF STOPPING. And I’ll continue to document it and hate myself, as always.