03.24.06 | Prison Break, Recaps 

Prison Break: It’s Electric, Boogie Woogie Woogie

032006a.jpg It’s amazing how time flies when you are a new parent. At the risk of sounding cliché, it seems like only yesterday Prison Break and I went on nearly concurrent hiatus. The show is back and so am I, for as long as I can handle it at least. Since it’s been so damn long since the first half of the season, this awesome season review/preview will catch you up with the various characters and plotlines.

“Pshaw,” you say, “sg-dub ain’t all that – he barely gets any comments!” My man EdHill likes to address me as, “10 comment boy,” as if the number of comments is the measure of a man. Whatever, I don’t see any of the other writers getting quoted in the Sunday New York Times, now do I? You know, the PAPER OF RECORD? So what if the article is about arts and crafts and that the writer called me out for calling a crane a duck. (Which is personally kind of funny to me since I’m one of the very few people you know who took a real ornithology course in college.)

Blah, blah, blah, enough about me – an innocent man is about to be executed fer Christ’s sake. All the sizzle and pop after the jump.

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03.23.06 | Lost, Recaps 

Lost: Her Baby Daddy

lost-03-22-06a.jpgWe thought it would never come. But here it is. A new Lost episode. It’s getting to the point where I am actually having to go back and reread old recaps just to remember what happened last because they keep throwing those freaking repeats at us. 12 hours a week of American Idol, no problem. Two uninterrupted episodes of Lost? Apparently that’s beyond the abilities of mankind. But what more exciting way to bring us back to the Lost world than an entire episode about Sun and Jin? Get your glasses out because its time for subtitles! But hey, I’ll take an hour of people talking Korean after listening to Claire’s whiny Australian accent last time around.

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03.20.06 | Recaps, Surreal Life 

Surreal Life: Remember The Savage… Skidmark

Early Sunday evening, after I enjoyed a few pops with EdHill at my favorite local watering hole watching my Uconn Huskies advance to the Sweet 16, I ate some dinner and dozed off in my comfy living room chair. A few hours later I was awoken by the plaintive wails of my 2-month old son, baby-dub.

“Daaa-liii,” he mused, “Daaa-liiiii!” Whatever, I thought; he’s just testing out a new sound. Awakened, I rubbed my eyes and looked at the clock to see what time it was – Whoa! In my beery sleep-deprived state, the clock appeared to be melting off the wall! Totally freaked, I looked around and noticed the windows had gotten very small. “Daaa-liii,” baby-dub continued. Oh… Wait… That’s right, it was time for another season of VH1’s Surreal Life and my genius son was simply reminding me not to miss the premiere. And boy, am I glad he remembered – because my weekend wouldn’t have been complete without seeing a prosthetic boob, a bunch of washed up coke-heads, and a skidmark for the ages.

Yes folks, it’s back. Making lemonade out of a lemon, after the jump.

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Desperate Housewives: How Much is That Baby in the Window?

I know there is always a certain level of suspension of disbelief in certain kinds of TV shows. For instance 24 is structured in such a way that I am willing to overlook its huge gaping plot holes like how Jack Bauer can strangle a nun with her own entrails in front of the President […]

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03.10.06 | Project Runway, Recaps 

Project Runway: The Dao of Chloe

Well, I have to admit that was one heck of a Project Runway finale. Really very exciting. About twenty minutes in I figured out why. This show is one of the few where the big prize actually means something. Instead of some silly live boardroom or a wacky gauntlet, the contestants get to show their work at the most prestigious fashion show of the year. So it’s a prize that is really worth something. Sufiice it to say I was having a grand old time watching this episode. I was about as excited as a heterosexual man should be at a reality show about fashion. Then thirty minutes in I realized that this will be the last time Tim tell me to “make it work” and it made me sad. The last time we can come up with weird food combinations of what we think Santino smells like (my final theory: hot garbage with rancid yogurt on top). Now I need a Tim Gunn alarm clock so I can have him wake me up every morning with a nice cheery “Time to make it work!” Then if I hit snooze I can here him say “This bothers me.”

But what a sendoff. It was a night full of surprises when everyone’s predictions getting tossed aside in what I consider to be a true upset win. A model almost fell down on the runway too, which is always fun. And to top it all off we get the best critiques yet with Michael Kors at his bitchy best. Behold dear reader, the season finale of Project Runway (Part 2).

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03.10.06 | Prison Break, Recaps 

Prison Break: Breaking My Break To Break “Break’s” Break

11-28-05e1.jpg Prison Break fans, we’re almost there. FOX will deign to begin showing new episodes again on Monday, March 20th. In anticipation, I thought it would be a good idea to refresh our collective memory and catch up with some of the cast and story. For those of you who missed the first half season of the show, you suck. You really do… Because this show totally rules. Luckily for you, FX is showing a “Prison Break” marathon next Sunday the 19th – Don’t miss it.

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03.06.06 | Project Runway, Recaps 

Project Runway: All Good Things….

Well this is it. This is what we have been waiting for. After months of waiting we are finally at the finale of Project Runway. It’s Fashion Week and our three remaining contestants are there to show off their own collections. Who will be crowned America’s Next Top Model great designer and then fall back […]

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02.28.06 | Project Runway, Recaps 

Project Runway: Our Story So Far….

This week’s Project Runway presented me with quite a challenge. How does one recap a recap show? At first I thought I could just recap it by recapping the recap using old recaps, but felt that that might come dangerously close to ripping apart the space time continuum. The last thing any of us needs […]

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Desperate Housewives: It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere

After last week’s horrible misfire of an episode where everyone started acting like Susan for an hour, will Desperate Housewives recover this week? Well the answer is… kind of. It was much better than last week’s episode for sure, but that’s like saying that having uncontrollable explosive diarrhea is better than regular uncontrollable diarrhea. Either […]

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02.20.06 | Project Runway, Recaps 

Project Runway: The Iman Cometh

It’s been a fun season for Project Runway. From Dirty Diana on the dance floor to Kara avoiding “Daingah” in her dress to Andrae’s endlessly funny gay expressions…so many memories. Now we are finally coming to the end. That’s right, this week was the penultimate episode. The last runway elimination before we get our final three for New York’s Olympus Fashion Week. After Nick’s surprise departure last week we are left with the horrifying reality that at least one, and possibly two people who are the least talented of the entire group will make it through to the final three. Those two are Santino, a one note designer who makes everything look like Muppet puke, and Kara, whose ideas are so dull and uninspired that the only real talent she has is mangling the English language. Who will be the one to squeak through? I suppose if I had to choose it would be Santino, because he does have some talent, and not just for doing Tim Gunn impressions.

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