02.17.06 | Lost, Recaps 

Lost: Pain is so Close to Pleasure

lost-02-15-06d.jpgI have to say, after a few lackluster episodes, Lost has regained itself in top form with this week’s episode. No more hour-long character studies about people coping with their inner demons. OK, so this episode was a storyline about someone coping with their inner demons, but this guy’s inner demon was about ripping people’s fingers out with a pair of pliers, and that’s much more interesting than watching Sawyer con some middle aged hausfrau or Charlie bitch and moan about his heroin addiction. But we also get more clues towards the island mystery, which is what the show has been lacking for a while. And most of all, they continue what I think is the most fascinating part of the new season: the growing rift between the Jack and Locke camps. Not since the “Bo and Luke Duke/Coy and Vance Duke” debate have I seen such tension. Ultimately, however, this show was all about Sayid. And we all know there are only two things that he does well (other than banging aging collagen-filled actresses, that is). Chew bubble gum and torture people. And this week, he was all out of bubble gum.

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Desperate Housewives: The Corpse Bride

So I’m confused. I’ve been recapping Desperate Housewives all season now and I think I’m fairly familiar with how the show goes. It’s essentially a big soap opera that mixes all sorts of elements from comedy to drama with the added benefit of watching Teri Hatcher’s face morph into the Joker (don’t believe me? Look […]

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02.10.06 | Project Runway, Recaps 

Project Runway: Make (it Work) Over Madness!

Well it was a traumatic episode for us all last week on Project Runway. Watching Andrae run offstage was tough for all of us. I mean sure we all laughed because he ran like a 6 year old girl with arms flailing, but still, below the laughter was pain. And it’s not because we will miss his over the top gay facial expressions. No we still have Nick for that. It hurts because Andrae was actually pretty talented, and Santino and Kara suck, yet they are both still here. But that’s OK, we have two episodes left to get rid of them so that when they finally get to Olympus Fashion week (Which took place this morning), it will be the three most worthy left. Namely Chloe, Daniel and Nick.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. We still have 3 episodes left until then. And tonight’s challenge is even more fun that sticking a bunch of models in shrubs. It’s time for a makeover!

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02.03.06 | Project Runway, Recaps 

Project Runway: The Constant Gardeners

And then there were six. After Project Runways “dramatic” walk off last week, Zulema the Wicked Witch of the West (or should it be the Oily Witch of the West?) was sent packing with her gigantic funhouse glasses. And this just one week after winning a challenge. I guess it’s true what they say, one day you are EEN. And the next day you are out. If “they” is a smoking hot pregnant supermodel named Heidi, which “they” usually are.

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01.31.06 | Lost, Recaps 

Lost: Everybody’s Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey

lost-01-25-06a.jpgGrowing up, one of my favorite shows was Patrick McGoohan’s The Prisoner. It was an allegorical sixties show where a Bond-like secret agent is captured and sent to a resort-like internment camp called the Village. He is given a number and interrogated by his captors about what he knows, all the time not knowing who they are or what they want. The show was originally designed with a seven episode story arc, but when the networks asked for more episodes so they could market it overseas, they threw together ten more “filler episodes.” Why am I blathering about a 30-year-old British TV show in a Lost recap?

1. Any Lost fan would love The Prisoner (rent the DVD’s. You won’t be disappointed.)

2. This week’s Lost is a perfect example of one of those filler episodes where we spend an hour learning about Charlie’s drug addiction, his brother and his freaky obsession with Claire’s island baby, and not much else.

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01.30.06 | Project Runway, Recaps 

Project Runway: “It’s a Mother F***ing Walk Off”

Up until now Project Runway has been credited with being the most honest reality show out there. Granted, all reality shows have a certain element of playing to the cameras and fake drama. For instance, I don’t think there is one second of the Real World-Road Rules Gauntlet 2 that isn’t faker than any night of WWE Raw, but the beauty was always basking in the horribly amateur way they all play to the cameras (“I surcomb!”), thinking that anyone over the age of 13 believed that nonsense. The only thing real on that show is T.J.’s utmost respect and reverence for the Gauntlet. You can’t fake that.

But Project Runway eschewed all those trappings and based a reality show on skill and talent winning the day, not reality-show backstabbing “villains” and phony alliances. Well, that veneer has begun to crack ever so slightly with this episode. The end results are still based on talent, but we now have this season’s Wendy Pepper, i.e. the woman who will pull reality show gimmicks to get ahead. Zulema. What, pray tell, did she do this week to send everyone into a tizzy? Two words. Two magical words.

Walk Off!!

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Desperate Housewives: Tell Me No Secrets….

I gotta tell you I can’t wait for February to start. Not because I like February, I hate it actually. It’s cold and miserable and there’s nothing going on. It’s basically just a long build up until March, in which St. Paddies day comes and I am complete again. No, the only thing that makes February worthwhile is because it is sweeps. The magical time when all the shows are new and they pull out all the stops in order to get the highest ratings they can. That can hopefully pull Desperate Housewives out of the funk it’s been in lately. This week’s episode I can honestly say nothing really happened. They simply spent an entire hour setting up payoffs to storylines that we won’t get to see for weeks. Oh well, at least it’s better than Grey’s Anatomy with the squinty faced girl with the annoying lisp and the butter faced cross-eyed Asian chick. Yeah, that’s right. I said it.

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01.20.06 | Project Runway, Recaps 

Project Runway; Ice, Ice, Baby!

It’s gonna be a tough recap for me on this week’s Project Runway. I’m still bummed about the tragic loss of Dirty Diana last week. Not only was she mine and sg-dub’s pick from the beginning, but she got booted in the most unfair way imaginable because she was paired with that idiot Marla. So it was with a heavy heart that I watched last night’s episode. But before long I was back into the swing of things. Because there’s nothing that makes the hurt of a lost love go away faster than gay men skating. Or was that alcohol? Wait, yeah. Definitely alcohol.

This week we get yet another guest star, and unlike Nicky Hilton, this one actually has a job. And she’s good at it too. It’s ice skater Sasha Cohen. For the men reading this, ice skating” is the stuff they put on ESPN during the football playoffs when all the games are on the network channels. That and swamp racing.

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Desperate Housewives: I Ain’t Drunk, I’m Just Drinkin’

If there is one theme in Hollywood this week it’s that gay is in. Gay is hip. Gay is cool. This weeks Golden Globes is a perfect example. There were multiple awards going to Brokeback Mountain, Capote, and even our own Desperate Housewives Felicity Huffman won a Golden Globe for playing a transgendered man in Transamerica. It’s enough to make Pat Robertson put a shotgun in his mouth and pull the trigger. Sadly it wasn’t quite enough, but it was close. Couple that with last weeks gay make out scene it left me feeling out of my element, what with me being scorchingly heterosexual. Luckily there was the 4 hour manly premiere of 24, which replenished my testosterone levels and got me ready for this weeks Desperate Housewives. I’m ready to take on anything they can dish out. Girls talking about their feelings, dinner parties, you name it. Thankfully I was instead rewarded with an episode that had internet porn, a vicious beating and Gabrielle parading around naked. We even got to see Terri Hatcher in her bra and panties. While this would have been much better circa 1997, you take what you can get. Also Bree’s much ballyhooed drinking problem starts to take front and center. But leave it to Bree to become an alcoholic on white wine and tawny port. God knows the bong she’d ever get if she were a pothead.

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01.16.06 | Project Runway, Recaps 

Project Runway: How Much is That Model in the Window?

With sg-dubs recent sabbatical in order to finish his 4 volume novel on the history of the Russian monarchy, the task of taking over Project Runway has fallen to me, EdHill. Since this is one of my favorite shows I was eager to accept the challenge. I will, as Tim Gunn says so eloquently, “Make it work”. So hopefully the recaps can remain funny and interesting and no one will notice that we switched Darren’s midstream. And I’m sure sg-dub will provide me with a few funny jokes here and there, like Carson did for Letterman.

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