11.14.05 | Making the Band, Recaps 

Making the Band: Girls Gone Wild: Miami

Yes I know, this Making the Band recap is extremely late. The reason is because I had… ummm… jury duty. Yeah that’s it, jury duty. Ah who am I kidding, I can’t lie to my fan. I was just too busy. Things like “real life” sometimes get in the way of television (it made me sick just typing that). And I suppose a part of it was that I knew deep down Diddy was going to make some cuts this week, and after spending all this time with the new batch of girls, it was just going to hurt too much. Granted they weren’t going to vote out Aubrey, because everyone knows she is an absolute lock for the band. If she doesn’t get in I’ll eat my hat, as they say. And I don’t even own a hat. I’d actually have to go out and buy one just for the purposes of eating it. But I’ve grown to love each and every one of the girls. Mannish Denosh, chubby Dominique, sickly Cindy. They are all like sisters. Well, more like stepsisters since there are a few I wouldn’t mind getting to know a little better, if ya know what I mean. So without further ado, here is the recap for last Thursday’s Making the Band 3 season two. Think of it this way, it gives you something to read while you wait for the final Laguna Beach tonight, presented without commercial interruption.

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11.11.05 | Lost, Recaps 

Lost: Ana Lucia, Meet Shannon…

lost_08110905.jpgFor those of you who don’t know, Lost is a show on ABC about a group of people who survived a plane crash on a tropical island that may or may not be what it seems. It has a Zen like former cripple, a gruff doctor with a heart of gold, even an Iraqi! I only mention this because it’s been 3 freaking weeks since the last episode aired, and some of you might have forgotten about it and moved onto the other television offerings on Wednesday night at 8, like that crazy screaming mom on Trading Spouses. While I’m sure the crazy screaming lady is funny (A TiVO conflict kept me from seeing it.) it just doesn’t fill that void that Lost can. Well now that the show is finally back, the least we can expect is a really good episode right? Don’t fret people. The show is just as good, and maddeningly obtuse as ever. And this one is a biggie. We finally get to see the long rumored death of another major Lost character. Want to know who it is? All will be revealed after the jump.

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Desperate Housewives: There Goes the Neighborhood

It’s been two weeks since we last had a fresh episode of Desperate Housewives, and the question remains “Will it get any better?” Well, apparently I am in the minority on this because the last episode two weeks ago actually beat out the World Series. That’s right, a team that hadn’t won since 1917 sweeping in the World Series was beaten out by the image of a 43-year-old woman with bad plastic surgery dancing on a bar. But who knows, maybe they were all just Grey’s Anatomy fans watching ABC just waiting for 10 o’clock (never underestimate the power of Patrick Dempsey). Or perhaps it was thousands of would-be bloggers who were given the task of recapping a show that they think isn’t as good as it used to be. Either way, the country spoke, and I shall listen. This week the show actually did get a little better. Less goofiness, and a darker edge, and that uppity Susan got hers. Granted it was still full of absolutely huge, laughable plot holes, but seeing as how it’s really just a soap opera with a big budget, it’s par for the course.

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11.07.05 | Making the Band, Recaps 

Making the Band: Road Trip!

Yes, I know that this Making the Band recap is late. I do apologize, but since it was my birthday over the weekend (57 years young!) I was knee deep in hookers and blow since Wednesday night. Let’s just say what happens in Hartford, stays in Hartford. While I was off having my fun, the [...]

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11.01.05 | Kill Reality, Recaps 

Kill Reality: And the Emmy for Outstanding Made for Television Movie Goes to…

scorned8.jpgWhen I was growing up the scariest movie to me was The Shining. I still don’t get the ending, but I am to this day creeped out by it. It is very nearly the perfect scary movie. Well, if The Shining was Schwarzenegger in Twins, then The Scorned is its Danny DeVito. That’s right, after weeks of waiting, the people of Kill Reality have finally followed through on their promise threat, and released the steaming monkey turd that is The Scorned. This is the so-called “movie” they were using as an excuse to have reality show contestants live in a house, drink and hurl their own bodily fluids at each other. So how was it? The best way I can describe it is that it was like watching a really bad porno with all the sex scenes cut out and the whole thing was edited by The Real World’s Nehemiah. It’s just a horrible film from top to bottom. The acting, the writing, the lighting, the sets, the wardrobe. All terrible. Even Ryan Copeland, the gaffer, sucked ass. I did a student film with a camcorder in 7th grade that had better production values (and my craft services table was top notch too). No, there wasn’t a redeeming thing about this film, but I still saw all of it. Why? Because I care about you, the MSR reader, that’s why. I want to make you are spared this travesty and can instead spend an hour and a half reading a book, helping the needy, or buying midseasonreplacements merchandise. And you don’t have to thank me, people. Just pay it forward…

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10.29.05 | Making the Band, Recaps 

Making the Band: You Can’t Make an Omelet Without Breaking Some Eggs

You know I gotta to hand it to my boy Diddy. Whether or not this season of Making the Band 3 is successful, he’s already created some good TV. So who cares if this girl band ends up sucking (which it probably will), we were able to see Diddy chasing a bunch of girls in [...]

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Desperate Housewives: Searching for Mr Goodbar

So I have a confession to make. I really wanted to like Desperate Housewives. I really did. Before I started recapping it this season I even went that extra mile and rented the entire first season on DVD to get up to speed. And the first season wasn’t really that bad. I mean, it wasn’t great and it still doesn’t deserve half the attention it’s getting, especially when there are other far more deserving shows toiling in obscurity (this seasons West Wing. Run Santos! Run!), but it was a passable nighttime soap. But this latest episode is just another stinker in a rather underwhelming season. Huge plot holes, storylines that go nowhere, blatant logical errors. It was just a mess. And in fact I have another confession to make. In order to make watching last night’s borefest palatable, I interspersed it between commercial breaks with playing the New Burnout Revenge on my Playstation 2 and drinking about two gallons of Diet Cherry Coke. It made for quite an interesting night I can tell you. So I apologize if there is some overlapping in the recap. Hey, at least I wasn’t drunk.

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10.21.05 | Making the Band, Recaps 

Making the Band: Tryin’ to Keep up With the Boom Cats

Well we’ve now gone through two episodes of Making The Band 3 and Diddy has started to cut some of the fat. And I personally can’t thank him enough. The show was full of fat. To put it in perspective, if this show was a meal, it would be a big greasy pork sandwich served [...]

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Desperate Housewives: Sundays in the Park with George

How has the season stacked up so far for Desperate Housewives? Well if the critics are any judge it’s a bit of a letdown. Edging toward vapidity” is the term being bandied about. Edging? It’s a nighttime soap starring Teri Hatcher, Nicollette Sheridan and half the cast of Melrose Place. People should stop expecting M*A*S*H and realize we are dealing with more of an After M*A*S*H. I mean the parallels between Teri Hatcher and Jamie Farr’s careers are positively eerie.

That being said, will the season pick up? Will we finally jettison the idiotic “who’s in the basement?” story line (Answer = no one cares) and move on to something more, I don’t know, interesting? Well don’t look at me to answer that question. I always thought the show was vapid. But since 80% of my television viewing habits consist of reality shows and the Food Network (Alton Brown is god), who am I to judge?

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10.17.05 | Making the Band, Recaps 

Making the Band: Screeching for Dollars

We’re already one episode into the season on Making the Band 3 (or season two, or cycle two, or version 2.0 or something) and Diddy is fired up. This will not be a failure like last season, dammit. He WILL make a mediocre band that will have one lackluster album and then disappear. Now that [...]

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