It’s been two weeks since we last had a fresh episode of Desperate Housewives, and the question remains “Will it get any better?” Well, apparently I am in the minority on this because the last episode two weeks ago actually beat out the World Series. That’s right, a team that hadn’t won since 1917 sweeping in the World Series was beaten out by the image of a 43-year-old woman with bad plastic surgery dancing on a bar. But who knows, maybe they were all just Grey’s Anatomy fans watching ABC just waiting for 10 o’clock (never underestimate the power of Patrick Dempsey). Or perhaps it was thousands of would-be bloggers who were given the task of recapping a show that they think isn’t as good as it used to be. Either way, the country spoke, and I shall listen. This week the show actually did get a little better. Less goofiness, and a darker edge, and that uppity Susan got hers. Granted it was still full of absolutely huge, laughable plot holes, but seeing as how it’s really just a soap opera with a big budget, it’s par for the course.
Yes, I know that this Making the Band recap is late. I do apologize, but since it was my birthday over the weekend (57 years young!) I was knee deep in hookers and blow since Wednesday night. Let’s just say what happens in Hartford, stays in Hartford. While I was off having my fun, the [...]
When I was growing up the scariest movie to me was The Shining. I still don’t get the ending, but I am to this day creeped out by it. It is very nearly the perfect scary movie. Well, if The Shining was Schwarzenegger in Twins, then The Scorned is its Danny DeVito. That’s right, after weeks of waiting, the people of Kill Reality have finally followed through on their promise threat, and released the steaming monkey turd that is The Scorned. This is the so-called “movie” they were using as an excuse to have reality show contestants live in a house, drink and hurl their own bodily fluids at each other. So how was it? The best way I can describe it is that it was like watching a really bad porno with all the sex scenes cut out and the whole thing was edited by The Real World’s Nehemiah. It’s just a horrible film from top to bottom. The acting, the writing, the lighting, the sets, the wardrobe. All terrible. Even Ryan Copeland, the gaffer, sucked ass. I did a student film with a camcorder in 7th grade that had better production values (and my craft services table was top notch too). No, there wasn’t a redeeming thing about this film, but I still saw all of it. Why? Because I care about you, the MSR reader, that’s why. I want to make you are spared this travesty and can instead spend an hour and a half reading a book, helping the needy, or buying midseasonreplacements merchandise. And you don’t have to thank me, people. Just pay it forward…
You know I gotta to hand it to my boy Diddy. Whether or not this season of Making the Band 3 is successful, he’s already created some good TV. So who cares if this girl band ends up sucking (which it probably will), we were able to see Diddy chasing a bunch of girls in [...]
So I have a confession to make. I really wanted to like Desperate Housewives. I really did. Before I started recapping it this season I even went that extra mile and rented the entire first season on DVD to get up to speed. And the first season wasn’t really that bad. I mean, it wasn’t great and it still doesn’t deserve half the attention it’s getting, especially when there are other far more deserving shows toiling in obscurity (this seasons West Wing. Run Santos! Run!), but it was a passable nighttime soap. But this latest episode is just another stinker in a rather underwhelming season. Huge plot holes, storylines that go nowhere, blatant logical errors. It was just a mess. And in fact I have another confession to make. In order to make watching last night’s borefest palatable, I interspersed it between commercial breaks with playing the New Burnout Revenge on my Playstation 2 and drinking about two gallons of Diet Cherry Coke. It made for quite an interesting night I can tell you. So I apologize if there is some overlapping in the recap. Hey, at least I wasn’t drunk.
Well we’ve now gone through two episodes of Making The Band 3 and Diddy has started to cut some of the fat. And I personally can’t thank him enough. The show was full of fat. To put it in perspective, if this show was a meal, it would be a big greasy pork sandwich served [...]
How has the season stacked up so far for Desperate Housewives? Well if the critics are any judge it’s a bit of a letdown. Edging toward vapidity” is the term being bandied about. Edging? It’s a nighttime soap starring Teri Hatcher, Nicollette Sheridan and half the cast of Melrose Place. People should stop expecting M*A*S*H and realize we are dealing with more of an After M*A*S*H. I mean the parallels between Teri Hatcher and Jamie Farr’s careers are positively eerie.
That being said, will the season pick up? Will we finally jettison the idiotic “who’s in the basement?” story line (Answer = no one cares) and move on to something more, I don’t know, interesting? Well don’t look at me to answer that question. I always thought the show was vapid. But since 80% of my television viewing habits consist of reality shows and the Food Network (Alton Brown is god), who am I to judge?
We’re already one episode into the season on Making the Band 3 (or season two, or cycle two, or version 2.0 or something) and Diddy is fired up. This will not be a failure like last season, dammit. He WILL make a mediocre band that will have one lackluster album and then disappear. Now that [...]
Crack the champagne and light up that cigar, we made it to the hour-long finale of The Surreal Life 5, one of the most tiring, confounding, and annoying shows ever to air. The show was completely hijacked this season by the two most attention-starved media whores in history: Omarosa and Janice Dickinson. What began as a moderately interesting “made for reality TV” little rivalry a couple months ago rapidly descended into a Hieronymus Bosch hellscape. I would never have watched this series through to the end had I not been “on assignment.” Those two old crows constantly bitching and clawing at each other became too much for me to bear – however, I guess the race to the photo finish to determine who would be crowned “Woman I Hate Most” would hold my interest. The winner will be announced by the end of the recap.
In the beginning it was definitely Janice Dickinson who looked to be the clear-cut winner; hurling offensive insults at retarded children, picking fights for no reason, refusing to partake in various activities, bitching at everything, and drunkenly exposing her crotch-rot to the innocent world. Then, sensing her time in the Surreal House would be for naught if she didn’t step up the nonsense, Omarosa turned up the bitch factor. Then she kicked it in to warp speed over the last few episodes, overtaking Janice for the lead in BitchRace 05 – cackling, hurling endless insults, and doing whatever she could do to drive Janice insane. Er, I mean, drive Janice even more insane.